I'm proud of women walking out on failed marriages

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If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans. Isn't that what they say? Something like that. Right?

If that is the case, then God must constantly be in stitches, especially with the ones that are said in "his presence".

Take wedding and wedding vows, for example.

"I, Thabiso Mahlape, take you, let's just say Matome, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part."

Sure this is the plan, because I don't imagine that every single one of those people stand in front of priests and lie. They genuinely mean it and hope their plans will work out.

But how do you sincerely imagine that you know what the future holds? Do you just hope? Perhaps I have no faith, but I can't imagine walking that blindly into the future, armed with nothing but hope. Don't say but what about love? Because love isn't a factor strong enough to hold anything together. It exists, it is cute, but that's that.

In any case, plans fall apart. Things don't always go according to plan. That's not a thing to be ashamed about, I suppose. It matters what we do with that disappointment and how we move on.

It's in this vain that I have been thinking lately how terrible it must be to be a celebrity; obviously not the part where they make lots of money and get lots of free goodies. But definitely the part of fame that means that all your failed plans roll out in public, and your most agonising moments play out in tabloids.

To have your failures be part of news bulletins is awful.

I am not a celebrity but I have lived through that and it is the worst possible experience.

Celebrity marriages in SA have been going through a lot. Last Friday, songstress and super star Lira announced that her marriage may be over and that she and her husband are living apart.

This is hot on the heels of fellow musician Nhlanhla Nciza using the same platform to announce similar news about her marriage. I'm not going to name any more names because this is not an instalment of Shwashwi. It could be but I'd need to be paid for that. I'm just trying to establish a trend.

I am not married and as far as I am aware no-one is trying to marry me. Apparently being fat and having a big mouth isn't quite the wife material men are looking for.

That said, I am incredibly proud of these young black women who are saying enough. It's no secret that I believe that marriage benefits men and that marriage ought to be cancelled and/or redefined.

So every time I see a divorce announcement, my heart whispers a congratulations, and a consolation because hearts break leading up to that moment.

Men have always behaved as though marriage is a favour that they are doing for women and to appease their parents. But women are saying there are better favours, and I couldn't be more proud. Our daughters are going to reap these benefits. They will be free.

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