Being Duduzane's second wife not far-fetched idea for a Zuma

Kwanele Ndlovu Singles Lane
The writer wants to do her patriotic duty by availing herself for Duduzane Zuma./Felix Dlangamandla / Getty Images
The writer wants to do her patriotic duty by availing herself for Duduzane Zuma./Felix Dlangamandla / Getty Images

I know we are trying to forget a lot about the Zuma administration. I am more interested in him as a father here.

I hope he passed on some wisdom on mastering polygyny to all his sons.

Yes. Duduzane might need more wives. And should any of my sister cadres nominate me for the duty of expanding the Zuma clan, I will duly oblige.

I am a patriot. In fact, in the spirit of thuma mina, I will personally lobby for my installation as the second makoti of this son of the soil.

My family is ready to take umbondo to the castle at iNkaaandla. I am ready.

I was one of thousands of ladies who watched with passion this week as he was dragged into court in chains. Perhaps the most charming suspect on the dock thus far.

In fact, as we discussed the matter of Duduzane possibly being a polygamist, I realised that the competition for his attention is really high. So I will not be waiting on some queue while he meets and greets potential candidates.

I will befriend the wife, because proximity is everything. And, if we are going to be sister-wives, we might as well be friends from the word go.

While I risk a tongue lashing from the defenders of the institution of marriage, I want to remind everyone that KZN is not afraid of moving our land out of South Africa if there is continuous undermining of our culture and traditions. And in the Republic of the Zululand, Duduzane is married but available. Thanks.

And we are just fortunate that the man hails from a long history of polygynous ancestors. He is probably genetically engineered for cuddling MaNdlovu on Tuesday, having dinner with Ma Van Zyl on Wednesday and impregnating MaMnguni on Friday.

Of course I am not ignorant of the possibility that he may be imprisoned. I had entertained the idea of taking his place in the orange overall, but remembered that even King Dalindyebo could not be saved by such selfless measures.

A friend even suggested that if the man is open to taking more wives, she is willing go to Sun City and serve life with him throughout his sentence.

The first wife can take care of the conjugal visits while I handle the media and do a few interviews. I may even pen a book about losing Duduzane so soon after our wedding.

It has that Mandela and Winnie ring to it. A romantic tragedy. Touching.

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