Who in this day and age is still fighting to keep a man?

Kwanele Ndlovu Singles Lane

In the midst of our unsolicited opinions on this week's queen battles between Bonang and Zinhle, a deep-thinking cretin intimated: "Bonang is a great example that beauty and success does not keep a man."

This in turn invited a number of scholarly thoughts on how to keep a man. Social media was awash with lessons and suggestions on how to master the art of preserving a relationship for the prize of a reluctant man.

It appears that all the life skills I have acquired for self-preservation should actually be dedicated to contests over men and the ultimate reward of ensuring that they stay in the relationship. Maigot!

It is too late in the century to be teaching women how to keep a man. Stop. Men really should leave when they want to. Just like women should not have to endure any partnership against their will.

Relationships are not cells of captivity, and we would rather keep our sanity, and our dignity.

To the love warriors who believe women have a higher duty of fighting tooth and nail to save dead relationships - first of all, andizi (no thanks)!

Women are already dealing with a lot when it comes to loving a man. We cannot be adding more burden of forcing them to commit.

We cannot be keeping that much baggage in our intimate space just for the sake of being known for single-handedly championing long-term relationships or eternal marriages.

I, for one, have no duty nor do I have the slightest inclination to keep a man. A relationship with me does not include the part where I go out of my way to ensure that you do not leave me.

I subscribe to the concept of freedom and choice. I will only love a man for as long as I please, and will accept his love while I still crave it.

I will not be in a relationship to retain a man against all odds. Fortunately, I have always loved myself more than any man can ever love me. A guy once told me that: "You were not serious about our relationship. You didn't fight for me," when I was too busy to exchange unpleasant vulgarities and hate with another woman for him.

But I do not confuse compulsion as commitment. And I will not compete for a man's affection. Relationships should be pleasant, and only engaged for as long as both parties are willing.

Suggesting that a woman has an extra calling to keep a man is absurd. Let that man go if he wants to go.

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