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Baby showers now blur into an event to realise bridal dreams

Kwanele Ndlovu Singles Lane
Pregnancy is now often more likely to happen before any marriage.
Pregnancy is now often more likely to happen before any marriage.
Image: 123RF

It's 2018, and children born out of wedlock are far from taboo. In fact, most people my age are bound to raise blended families, if fortunate enough to find a partner to settle down with.

It's no surprise that I have found myself attending more baby showers than actual weddings.

A friend of mine is pregnant, and she is completely in charge of the process of ensuring that her baby shower is memorable. She is the chief organiser and the administrator of the WhatsApp group that is now 50-member strong because this is bound to be a big event.

She has been with her partner for almost a decade. Considering that nowadays anything beyond six months of dating is a long-term relationship, I don't know how they do it.

I usually just block guys off all social media platforms after about three dates. And those who survive beyond 90 days are my good friends now. I guess this is why I have not needed a baby shower in many, many, years.

Now, the thing about this particular couple is that my friend is ready for marriage. Her partner, on the other hand, is still trying to build his entrepreneurial profile.

They have had four break-ups. He has had three affairs.

Oh, and all her aunts are unmarried, so it's all starting to look like a family curse. She has reconciled with the possibility of never getting a fairytale wedding, but she has a plan.

She will take this opportunity to realise her bridal dreams. Her baby shower will be at a small wedding venue, the decor colours subtle, with lots of silver and candles.

The baby daddy will be present and sitting beside her on those white high-back chairs at the fore. There will be 'welcome to mama-land' and 'welcome to papa-land' speeches, and guidance on how to sustain a happy family.

I am personally tasked with ululating at high pitch and shouting "kwakuhle kwethu". Heck, I might just throw in that "Tswang, tswang, tswang, le bone." wedding song, and pretend the "ngwana o tshwana le le khalati" refers to the baby on-board.

The theme is high couture, and only she will wear white.

We are all bringing partners and will be binging on bubbly. We will dance to Shekinah's Suited and gift her with kettles, blenders and dinner sets.

Then, we will always remember that as her big day; and have photos of her in a white dress, holding hands with the love of her life, under a rain of confetti, staring into each other's eyes!

Yes, the lines between "bridal" and "baby" are becoming blurred, because we are tired of waiting for wedding days.

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