As a parent, Faith Mphofu often struggled to be on the same page as her teenage children and often had nobody to go to for guidance or assistance.

Mphofu's problems are now a thing of the past thanks to an initiative called Carry Only What You Need (Cowyn) founded by Thuli Letsoalo, who had similar experiences with her own mother.

Letsoalo's nonprofit organisation hosts regular sessions, mainly at community halls, for women struggling to build healthy relationships with each other. A session called Makoti/Mmatswale aims to improve relations between mothers and daughters-in-law.

Mphofu, 43, from Soshanguve, north of Pretoria, told Sowetan that Letsoalo helped her to communicate with her daughters better.

"I am conscious of how I address them and how I help them through their teenage years," Mphofu said.

She said she used to also "fight a lot" with her son before she engaged in the programmes offered by Letsoalo's organisation.

"I did not have the knowledge [I later] acquired from the programmes; it was either my way or the highway," she said.

"I would be very harsh on him, never listened to his side of the story. There was a point where I told him to go look for a democratic mother because I was not one."

Matshidiso Seabe, 67, Mphofu's mother, said she had also had many issues with her other daughter, Busisiwe Mhlanga, but after attending Letsoalo's sessions their relationship improved.

"Since we started attending these sessions together, the burden I used to carry on my shoulders is lighter. We always remind each other that we have to come to each other's level of understanding and pray for one another," she said.

Letsoalo said her own experiences with her late mother werethe main inspiration
behind the formation of her organisation .

"My mother was always trying to be strong for her children and this got too much for her heart, and her health deteriorated as a result," she said

Her mother was diagnosed with lung cancer and other diseases due to what Letsoalo describes as "an emotional pain my mother was carrying".

"Cowyn was formed after the realisation that there is a need for bridging the generational gap between older and younger women in order to create life-changing dialogues," Letsoalo said.