Our analysis of the scourge of gender-based violence in South Africa, and perhaps the world, is devoid of what some sociologists call the dissociative complex. Simply put, we can define this phenomenon as social isolation from yourself, others and other social institutions for a variety of reasons.
We disassociate ourselves from the responsibility of tackling gender-based violence through looking within ourselves and the ways in which we raise boy children who one day become killers and rapists because it forces us to think of the ways in which we may have contributed to the formation and cultivation of these "monsters".
We would much rather assume that our own children are fine and instead look to other parents to assume that responsibility.
We need to reflect on how we raise our children, our parenting styles in terms of perpetuating toxic gender stereotypes that later come back to bite us in the form of violence against women and children.
We need to reflect in order to move away from viewing ourselves through the prism of sanctity. Ending violence in our communities is a responsibility of the whole community.
I am in no way trying to find excuses for the behaviour of these men.
I am, however, saying before we disassociate them from ourselves by dehumanising them we also need to reflect on how they were once boys who were part of a wider community that may have contributed to who they have become.
That is important if we are to holistically think of the root causes of gender-based violence in our aim of totally rooting it out.