After years of experiencing bullying for being full-figured with a dark skin complexion since primary school, Yvette Moleke, 36, says the best way she could have gained confidence was to enter the Miss Curvylicious 2023 pageant.
Moleke, from Letlhabile in North West, is one of the finalists in the contest, and now masters the art of blocking negative thoughts and body shaming comments from bullies and naysayers.
“I have always known that I was not like other children because I’ve always been chubby and dark-skinned. All those years were sad at school, I really didn’t enjoy my school life 80% of the time,” said Moleke.
Primary school is where character, confidence and pride tend to be nurtured. However , she gained resentment, low-self-esteem and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) since people around her have overlooked her brightness as a pupil but rather paid attention to her physical appearance.
“I was intelligent. I obtained top marks, but no one cared except one teacher who used to praise me whenever I did well. For the rest of them, if I got a top mark, we just kept it moving because I wasn’t skinny and light in complexion,” she recalls.
Though she’d managed to block bullies , she says it affected the choices she has made in life.
“There was an instance where I promised myself that I never want my children to look like me because I knew how bullying felt like. To counter that, I married a man who bullied me as well because he was the opposite of who I am, skinny and light skinned. I made this choice to protect my children. I was happy that they would not go through bullying when I gave birth,” she explains.
“But in life, you must snap out of it,” she said, “there was no one who was going to tell me to be confident, so I did it for myself and in case someone picked on my children.”
Labelled ‘The Black Pig’ by her peers, Moleke said it was difficult to open up about the treatment she was getting at school to her mother.
“Mothers back then cared about whether we had clothes and food. They would never stop to tap into emotions and mental health. But now, this has taught me to also uplift my daughter, whom I’ve advised to roll with the punches and stand up for herself because she gets bullied over her belly button. I encourage my daughter to never dwell on negativity,” she said.
As part of her charity work for the pageant, Moleke tours schools to educate children about the consequences and effects of bullying others and provides clothes to plus-size women.
“I love looking great and can find clothes of different sizes regardless of their sizes. I normally hear others say they struggle to find clothes that fit them, so I make sure they can also wear whatever they want and feel comfortable in their own skin,” she says.
“It was very important for me to show other women like me that they are beautiful just the way they are. I grew up in poverty with no privileges of doing my hair. This made me a target. I wanted to inspire others that it’s okay to look the way you do,” she said.
The finalists for the Miss Curvylicious will be judged on the impact they have in their communities. Their supporters can vote for them on their social media platforms. The winner will be announced in November.
Plus-sized Moleke defies naysayers by entering Miss Curvylicious 2023
‘I want to inspire others. It’s okay to look how you do’
Image: Supplied
After years of experiencing bullying for being full-figured with a dark skin complexion since primary school, Yvette Moleke, 36, says the best way she could have gained confidence was to enter the Miss Curvylicious 2023 pageant.
Moleke, from Letlhabile in North West, is one of the finalists in the contest, and now masters the art of blocking negative thoughts and body shaming comments from bullies and naysayers.
“I have always known that I was not like other children because I’ve always been chubby and dark-skinned. All those years were sad at school, I really didn’t enjoy my school life 80% of the time,” said Moleke.
Primary school is where character, confidence and pride tend to be nurtured. However , she gained resentment, low-self-esteem and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) since people around her have overlooked her brightness as a pupil but rather paid attention to her physical appearance.
“I was intelligent. I obtained top marks, but no one cared except one teacher who used to praise me whenever I did well. For the rest of them, if I got a top mark, we just kept it moving because I wasn’t skinny and light in complexion,” she recalls.
Though she’d managed to block bullies , she says it affected the choices she has made in life.
“There was an instance where I promised myself that I never want my children to look like me because I knew how bullying felt like. To counter that, I married a man who bullied me as well because he was the opposite of who I am, skinny and light skinned. I made this choice to protect my children. I was happy that they would not go through bullying when I gave birth,” she explains.
“But in life, you must snap out of it,” she said, “there was no one who was going to tell me to be confident, so I did it for myself and in case someone picked on my children.”
Labelled ‘The Black Pig’ by her peers, Moleke said it was difficult to open up about the treatment she was getting at school to her mother.
“Mothers back then cared about whether we had clothes and food. They would never stop to tap into emotions and mental health. But now, this has taught me to also uplift my daughter, whom I’ve advised to roll with the punches and stand up for herself because she gets bullied over her belly button. I encourage my daughter to never dwell on negativity,” she said.
As part of her charity work for the pageant, Moleke tours schools to educate children about the consequences and effects of bullying others and provides clothes to plus-size women.
“I love looking great and can find clothes of different sizes regardless of their sizes. I normally hear others say they struggle to find clothes that fit them, so I make sure they can also wear whatever they want and feel comfortable in their own skin,” she says.
“It was very important for me to show other women like me that they are beautiful just the way they are. I grew up in poverty with no privileges of doing my hair. This made me a target. I wanted to inspire others that it’s okay to look the way you do,” she said.
The finalists for the Miss Curvylicious will be judged on the impact they have in their communities. Their supporters can vote for them on their social media platforms. The winner will be announced in November.
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