The Zulu in our dog girding (or is it digging) for war with neighbours

Kwanele Ndlovu Singles Lane
Dogs are much loved for companion by humans but not by all./123RF
Dogs are much loved for companion by humans but not by all./123RF

I cannot remember any moment in my life where I fancied myself as a "dog person" not even as a child.

I still cannot understand how people decided to tame them and start speaking to the beasts.

Have you seen those teeth? Only, life always finds a way of having the last laugh when it comes to choices I think I have. And so, I have lived with dogs for most of my life, including my son's dogs since he was three years old.

However, I do not count them when naming my family members; my bonds with canines do not run that deep!

The Covid-19 national lockdown has meant that I have to spend all hours of my day around my son's dog.

We sometimes laugh that the dog is a staunch Zulu. He does not respond to anything said in other languages and probably barks in ".angizwa?!" every time someone says "Ncoooh, such a cute little puppy." to him.

He also responds very excitedly to maskandi music.

So I have always known that he would be overwhelmed by the reality of being a Jozi dog when he is finally exposed to a bigger community outside our family, and dogs with branded outfits and great potty etiquette.

You know how every time when our ministers are trying to brief the nation on the Covid-19 crisis and update the death toll there is always that one bright spark who wants to know if citizens can take their dogs out for a walk?

Yeah, this dog does not want to comply with the "stay in your father's house" order either. He chews electrical cords as a protest to go out into the garden. Only, the main reason he wants to be out there is so he can start fights with the neighbour's cat.

The two pets have no idea how important social distancing is right now.

The cat wiggles its tail through the fence to provoke him. Then the poor dog tries to bite the tail and goes wild barking and threatening that feline monster.

Of course this always attracts the attention of the cat owners and they come out with theatrics and scold the dog while brushing down the cat as if it didn't just try and paw out our dog's small intestines.

Sometimes I am tempted to tell them that the dog honestly does not understand English.

I did inform the dog that tigers in the Bronx got the Corona, and I can't have him risk our family wellbeing by hanging out with cats.

I doubt he appreciated the seriousness of our little chat. In fact, I doubt any threat of sickness will stop him from getting to that cat.

He is currently digging a hole under the pallet fence. You would think that he wants to be able to go out at night and hang with the neighbourhood dogs and catch up on gossip about their owners, get into a few dogfights and go half on a puppy - all the things he is unable to do on leash during his walks and park visits. No. He is digging his way into the neighbour's yard!

I'm not sure what his plan is when he finally gets to the other side. Also the cat appears to be way smarter than our sausage dwarf here, and bigger too. I know for sure it will not end well for the dog if that cat digs in just one paw.

But if that cat dares cross over into my yard, then it will have to reckon with me. First of all I don't trust black cats.

And I have heard what they do in people's backyards. So you know I will be throwing a whole can of Jeyes Fluid at it if it dares prance around my yard! And salt... Jeyes Fluid and salt, and maybe even slap it with a few fine cuts of shoulder bacon.

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