House of Song as Ringo fills gap left by singing prez
Now let the looting games begin
Sjoe, it is finally over! All that baby-kissing, opening up people's fridges in the glare of live television cameras, pretending to be surprised that poor people are, well poor, and making promises, promises and more promises.
Well, now that the silly season is over, our politicians can go back to doing what they do best - which is to steal from public coffers, sell our country for curry or a couple of beer cases and then dozing off during parliamentary sessions.
Red alert to sleepists
Vera, however, does hope that the increase in the number of young women and men in red overalls in the House would mean more than just additional extra income for their party boss, who is rumoured by some of his former associates to pocket a portion of his MPs' salaries.
She hopes that the increase would at least help ANC MPs stay awake during parly debates.
Ringo in the House
The most exciting part about the EFF's larger representation in the House is the fact that crooner Ringo Madlingozi will now be an MP.
Move over People's Bae, you can stick to your new job as Juju's chief marshal at mass rallies, it is Ringo's time now.
Vera is especially looking forward to Ringo serenading the National Assembly into silence with song during a debate on an emotive issue such as land.
Phela even Freedom Front Plus MPs - Verwoerd's grandson included - would find themselves chanting "land expropriation without compensation now!" after hearing Ringo's silky voice singing Sondela.
Sing for the prince, not with him
One request though from Vera. No matter what, Ringo should resist any attempts by the music-loving but singing-voice-deprived Nkosi yakwaPhindangene to form a parliamentary duet with him.
Can someone whisper to the elder that, although he comes from a musical family, singing is not his strongest point?
In with the young... and old
How fitting of SA that its oldest MP, the great iNkosi himself, is in his 90s and the youngest - a DA MP - is 23 years of age? Mzansi has always been a country of extremes.
Uphinde wa ngen' umtwana
But didn't the IFP leader say he was retiring for good after elections? Now that his party performed beyond expectations, regaining most of the votes it has lost in the past two elections, Shenge announced that he'll be returning to Cape Town as an MP for the next five years.
Vera suspects that the results of the elections revived in him the hope that, if he hangs on for another election or two, voters would eventually realise his dream of becoming the county's president.
Who is Vera to scoff at that dream, after all we had all written off the IFP before the polls.
Mbaks barking for his supper
The one politician who is not relying on hope, but taking matters to his hands in order to secure his future, is one Fikile Mbalula, formerly known as Razzmatazz.
With Thuma Mina busy mulling over his next cabinet, Mr Fear F*k*l is leaving nothing to chance, making sure that the prez knows that he is his best defender. In the last two weeks, Mbaks has been butting heads with anti-Thuma Mina combatants like secretary-general Ace Magashule and his chief imbongi Carl Niehaus.
Although Vera enjoyed the entertaining social media spat between Mbaks and Niehaus, she would like Mbaweezy to ease up on this Thuma Mina praise singing of his.
Has he forgotten that he used to do the same for an ex prez who used to run his affairs from Saxonwold?
That experience didn't end well with said prez at one stage dumping him from his cabinet. Praise-singers are often the first to be sacrificed.
Would you like to comment on this article or view other readers' comments? Register (it’s quick and free) or sign in now.
Please read our Comment Policy before commenting.