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'I refuse to accept that you are no longer here' — Siyanda Sesimani's mother pens her last goodbye

“I would do anything to be given a chance so I take your place instead of you.”

Siyanda Sesimani's mother recalls her last moments with her son before his death.
Siyanda Sesimani's mother recalls her last moments with her son before his death.
Image: Instagram/ Siyanda Sesimani

Siyanda Sesimani's mother Noluthando penned a heartfelt letter to her late son which was read at his funeral on Saturday.

Siyanda, popularly known for his stint on Soul City, died on March 11 from head injuries sustained when he was beaten to a pulp during a burglary at his home in Meredale on February 15.

In the letter, the mother of the actor spoke of how she had prayed for his recovery when he was at the hospital and how she would do anything to hear him say her name again.

“To my pumpkin. If I only knew that this day would come, I had known to prepare myself for this day, the day it would be my last day to spend my time with you. Oh Lord, had you told me, because you knew, and I had no idea at all.

“Seeing you lying in that bed, bruised and in pain, helpless and disconnected to your true being. The Siyanda full of so much life and energy, always with laughter. How I wished you could open your eyes and say to me 'Titi' for the very last time. 'Say it again nana. Call me Titi.'

The mother continued speaking of their close relationship and recalled their last conversation two days before he passed away where he spoke of his career journey and future plans.

“I would sometimes forget that I was your mother. It never felt like that to me. We had the best brother and sister relationship, that's what I always loved about us. I know you loved me my boy. You loved me very much. You were a happy chap, a dreamer, a lover, very inquisitive, always hyper and made sure you get what you want. You were a sensitive with a very big heart. You were my boy, my only boy. My first experience in motherhood when I knew nothing. I even named you after my Afrikaans teacher's child,” read the letter.

“I would do anything to be given a chance so I take your place instead of you. Please God, all I wanted was a second chance. I pleaded with you God. I continuously begged you. And I believed you to please save his life just this one time. I want my boy to wake up from that bed. I would do anything to have you back right now. I never said goodbye on that Sunday, two days before that incident happened.

“I regret not being at home that next day on Monday when you came and I was at the gym, not knowing it would be my last chance. I don't know, I refuse to accept that you no longer here. That Sunday, was that your goodbye Siyanda? Telling me about your success, your future plans and your new gigs? Seeing you all grown up telling me about you started fasting and praying. Was that your goodbye Siyanda? When the young bury the old, time heals the pain and sorrow. When the process is reversed, the sorrow remains forever.”


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