From the moment Kgoshi Sasa laid his eyes on now-wife Winny, he knew she was the missing half of his heart… but it took some convincing.

The meeting  

Kgoshi: I first met Winny at a friend’s house in Naturena [in 2004]. We then met again four years later at the same friend’s wedding in Kempton Park. At the wedding she was with a friend who seemed like a bodyguard. The moments to even say “Hello” were few and far between. Later that day, I offered her my jacket because I could see she was getting cold. I had my business card in my pocket and hoped she would take it.

I also asked for her number, but she refused. I then asked my friend to give me her contact number, but he had to get permission to do so. Eventually, I got it and found myself driving to Tshwane, all the way from Joburg south.  

Winny: He offered me his jacket and when I searched his inside pocket, I found his business card. I was not happy. I wondered whether this was what he did — go around with his business card to give to girls? Then the newlyweds took the after-party to their house and we had to drive to Naturena.

As we were driving there, Kgoshi asked for my number. I refused again and he said to me, “Wena o ngwetsi ya gesso” [You will be my wife one day]. When we got home I started to regret not giving Kgoshi my number and I also didn’t have his business card. That Wednesday, Kgoshi’s friend called to ask if he could give him my number. I jumped with joy. He called me on Thursday, and I was head over heels —I knew that I’d found my husband.

The lightbulb moment  

Kgoshi: We went out on a few dates. She once told me that she preferred a man who drinks, unlike me, who does not drink. She was somewhat uneasy, but I knew I’d met my wife. I had to play along and not look too serious until I knew she was in love herself. They tend to take their time, these ladies [laughs].  

The proposal    

Winny: A letter was sent to my home in May 2015, and in June they came to discuss the lobola (first visit), then in August they came to finish the negotiations. My parents told them that even if they were done paying lobola they couldn’t have their bride until idwendwe nobukhazi (Ndebele traditional wedding) was done, which made us sad because on 1 October I was supposed to start my new job and move into our new home — this meant we couldn’t do any of that. Kgoshi had to ask his delegation to negotiate for us to move in together and to have idwendwe nobukhazi within six months. So, we had our traditional celebration in March 2016 — that’s when he gave me my beautiful ring.

Lobola negotiations    

Kgoshi: There was an intense negotiation. I must say, my delegation did a good job. My late uncle Joel prided himself on a job well done. I felt we were overcharged because my family paid for go roba morwedi wa bona leoto as well as for the actual magadi. We then had a huge traditional celebration called go hlabisa mokgonyana le amogela makoti at my home in Ga-Ramela, a large village in Ga-Matlala, Limpopo.  

The wedding    

Kgoshi: Our wedding celebration was on 23 September. We were mindful of the long weekend, to make it easy for our guests to travel.  

Winny: That month is special because it’s my birthday on the 20th and my daughter’s birthday on the 22nd. We had our wedding at Inimitable Wedding Venue in Muldersdrift. We loved everything about it. What I liked most is that everything is done in-house — the décor, flower arrangement, and catering, all in one.  

The wedding dress 

Winny: It was quite easy because I knew exactly what I wanted — a custom-made dress. I sent Victoria (The XVIII Victorian) a message. I showed her what I wanted my dress to look like and she gave me exactly what I asked for. I was a bit sceptical because they are based in Durban and I’m in Joburg. I was worried about how the whole process was going to work, but she assured me that they would take my measurements and do the fitting in the comfort of my own home. I loved the final look and how punctual they were with my dress.

The suit 

Kgoshi: As a former fashion designer myself I knew I needed to have a suit made. I could not get myself to buy a readymade suit. Our theme was emerald green for our guests and three-piece black suits for the groomsmen. It was my day to stand out, so I chose a two-piece suit with an off-white jacket and black trousers. Kingsmen Taylor made a dapper-looking suit for me. 

Tips for the bride

Winny: Know what you want and stick to what makes you happy. Having a wedding coordinator is a plus, because they oversee everything while you enjoy yourself.  

Tips for the groom 

Kgoshi: Take your time when planning your perfect wedding. If you have to, save money and make it as memorable as possible. Do not hurry because of pressure from friends or family, do it for yourselves as a couple. After all, the day is all about you. Simplicity is golden.