Crouch, touch, pause, engage!
'Before I left, I asked Hacjivah if he wanted my number and he said, “No, I’m okay!” I was p*ssed off. I was amazed when I got his DM while I was in my room..'
Image: Supplied.
Take a break from all the Rugby World Cup action for the swoon-worthy traditional wedding of Stormers flanker Hacjivah Dayimani and digital creator Busi Mthimkhulu.
The meeting:
Busi: I met Hacjivah through a mutual friend in January 2021. She was dating one of his teammates at the time. The night before we met, I had hosted my birthday dinner at The Houghton Hotel, where we slept over.
She told me she hadn’t seen her man the whole festive season and asked if he could come over to the hotel just to chill with us. Because our other friends were there, I didn’t have an issue with [this]. They came over and I ended up flirting a little with Hacjivah, but he wasn’t giving me the time of day. I was tired from the night before, so I told everyone that I was going to go back to my hotel room.
Before I left, I asked Hacjivah if he wanted my number and he said, “No, I’m okay!” I was p*ssed off. I was amazed when I got his DM while I was in my room, saying: “Hey, can I borrow a charger?” He then convinced me to bring him the charger and we started speaking.
Dating
Hacjivah: Four days after we met, I took her out on a date, on a Wednesday, but that Friday something bad happened, her dad passed away, and I knew I had to be there for her.
Busi: My father passed away from Covid-19, six days after I met Hacjivah. We really didn’t know much about each other, but he was one of the first people I called for comfort. He then came over to my house 30 minutes after our call. He brought along sanitisers, masks, and gloves for people who came to give their condolences. He would come to my parents’ house almost every day leading up to the funeral. He was so supportive, considering we had just started dating.
Lightbulb moment
Hacjivah: I love how gentle, warm, and loving she is — she’s the opposite of me. I knew I found something precious, and I needed to do right by her by marrying her.
Busi: I just loved how he knew what he had to do when my dad passed away. I also loved how hands-on he was with my little sister. He would drive to my parents’ house just to take my little sister to school... their bond is admirable.
Lobola negotiations
Hacjivah: I sent the letter for lobola in March this year and we had the ceremony in April. I asked her how she envisioned her proposal and whether she’d like the proposal first and the lobola letter to be sent to her mother after.
Busi: My mother is very old school. She told me she doesn’t expect rings from people she doesn’t know, so a letter should be sent to my family first and then a proposal [could be made]. One night my mother told me that she’d received a letter from his family. I just remember being super excited, I wasn’t expecting it. We had both our families and close friends come to celebrate the day with us. Due to his demanding schedule as a rugby player, we then had to plan the wedding around the time he was off-season [in July].
The proposal
Busi: I was happy about lobola, but deep down Hacjivah knew I wanted a proposal. One day when we went out for dinner with our families and some of our friends, Hacjivah dropped his phone close to where I was seated, and when I turned around to hand the phone to him, I saw him down on his knees. As gobsmacked as I was, I just remember smiling and saying “Yes” when I saw the ring. That’s when we started planning the wedding.
The wedding
Busi: We chose to get married in July, shortly after the lobola negotiations. We knew if we didn’t take advantage of the month-long break he had in July, we’d have to wait until next July to have the wedding. I am Zulu and he is half Xhosa and Nigerian, so we had to blend our cultural background with a two-day traditional wedding in Craddock in the Eastern Cape. I was welcomed into his family on the last day in such a beautiful way... the ancestors were also consulted in this process. I can’t wait for our white wedding though.
Hacjivah: It was wonderful having our family with us... I was the happiest because of the beautiful bride I was getting married to.
Honeymoon:
Hacjivah: We haven’t gone yet. We plan on going after our white wedding, mainly because of my busy schedule.
Busi: I’m just a tropical type of girl. So, I’d like to go to a place where I can wear a bikini and enjoy the sunny vibes. I think the Maldives would be the best place to go.
Tips for the bride:
Busi: Sometimes you need to put your foot down and do what makes you happy. Remember to live in the moment and embrace it.
