I think ‘Right Now!’ is the perfect time to reflect.

It's the last few days of January and 2023 feels like a lifetime ago. Fortunately, you have me to prompt a swift stroll down memory lane.

This retrospective task is two-fold: first, I encourage reflection post-mercury retrograde before setting new intentions. Second, I am often jolted into the realisation that time is peculiarly abstract. I realise time is a moving component but when I reflect on a collective period, I am always astounded by life’s constant changes.

My mom and grandmother often watch me order their lives, making decisions for them, and they’ll simply say in conversation: “Yoh ntombi, I remember when you were a baby...” and proceed to nostalgically reflect on “the good old days”. I think nostalgia constantly reminds us of the collective movement of time and the changes it constantly inspires.  

A few weeks ago, I was gobsmacked at the realisation that I matriculated 14 years ago. It was inspired by a conversation with my sisters Mia, 14, and Nina, 22. We were later joined by Uviwe, 13, on the phone.

Uviwe couldn’t join us earlier as she was attending her grade 8 orientation, a few days shy of the beginning of the academic year. She called to fill us in on her orientation day woes, which included grave annoyance and amusement at her teacher’s insistence that they embrace Waka-Waka by Shakira featuring Freshlyground as their official theme song.

“Just because we were born in 2010 when it was our turn to host the Fifa Soccer World Cup, now they call us World Cup babies. How cheesy is that?”

We all burst into laughter; it was the most appropriate response.

Equally, I thought to myself: “Damn, 14 years ago I was in grade 12.” Mia was only a few months old; Nina was eight and Uviwe was born in October of that year. Life was completely different, the start of grade 12 was annoyingly brutal.

For context, I come from a paternal family of high academic achievers who believed in gathering monthly. By this time, circa 2010, my aunts and uncles would have bombarded me with conversations about focusing on “the most important year of my life” and how they will be looking out for my name in the newspaper the next year. Thank God for Popia, this generation is saved!

This time 14 years ago, I would’ve also had the daunting task of convincing my father to let me go to my matric dance, which he was very apprehensive about because he saw no use for it. “I never went to my matric dance baby girl, and I don’t think I missed anything, and I turned out fine.”

I ask myself now, do I still have and maintain friendships with people I met during my high school years? What is the nature of these said friendships now relative to 14 years ago? And the answers are yes, largely mitigated by social media – and the nature of our relationships is characterised by spirituality and the realisations that “life is hard” and “being an adult is even harder”.

The thing that brings us together as old friends is the ability to reflect on how much things have changed in our lives and how we are now spiritually awakened beings who must live their lives in accordance. In thinking about old friendships, I think of my mom’s words: “Spiritual people tend to gravitate towards one another, sometimes even before they realise their spirituality.”

I think that was an incredibly profound statement, especially when I think of a recent interaction with an old friend, Yonela. We met in grade 8 and she too now is journeying to become a sangoma. She recently joined me in conversation via the podcast Gogo, have I been Scammed, where we speak about having previously lived without practicing any spirituality of our own. We speak about owning spirituality and actively taking steps to ensure your spiritual safety and security.

After my conversation with Yonela, my mom’s words echoed: is the reason that we have maintained interaction because we are spiritual? How does our spirituality impact the relationship?

I think what is more astounding to me is that we both turned out to be very spiritual people, practicing uBungoma. Fourteen years ago... this surely was inconceivable to us both. Do you remember what you had going on 14 years ago? Had you any conception of your current reality?