Separation anxiety a temporary phase, natural milestone

Is your baby clingy and reluctant of separation even if it is for a short while, cries inconsolably when you or their caregiver leaves the room, or has a fear of strangers?

It could be that your little one is having sleeping problems or is showing signs of regression to something they had outgrown.

Your baby could have separation anxiety, which health insurance agency Affinity Health CEO Murray Hewlett says is a natural milestone in a baby's journey of attachment and growth.

"By understanding their needs, providing reassurance and fostering a nurturing environment, parents can guide their tots through this phase with love and understanding.”

What is separation anxiety?

Hewlett defines it as the distress and uneasiness experienced by infants when separated from their primary caregiver, usually a parent. 

He says it usually begins when the baby is about six to seven months old and will peak when they are between 10 to 18 months.

It will gradually subside as the child ages and develops a stronger sense of security.

However, children of school-starting age may experience anxiety.

“They [children of school-starting age] are in a new environment and need to adjust to a new routine. This could be separation anxiety, in the age group mentioned, and in the older children it is normal anxiety related to having to adjust to a new norm,” he says.

Hewlett says while triggers of separation anxiety vary from child to child, everyday situations, including leaving your baby with a new caregiver, starting daycare, moving home, the loss of a parent or caregiver and changes in routines that disrupt their sense of familiarity may cause it.

“It is important to note that separation anxiety is a normal response and does not indicate any underlying issues or problems with the child or caregiver,” Hewlett says.

Factors that contribute to the development of separation anxiety in babies:

Cognitive development: As infants grow, they develop object permanence, which is the understanding that objects or people continue to exist even when out of sight. This newfound awareness can lead to anxiety when the primary caregiver is absent.

Attachment: Strong emotional bonds between infants and their caregivers are formed during the early months of life. When the caregiver is absent, the baby may experience separation anxiety due to their attachment and reliance on them for comfort and security.

Sensitivity: Some infants may have a naturally more sensitive temperament, making them more prone to experiencing separation anxiety.

Environmental factors: Significant life changes, like moving to a new home or the birth of a sibling, can disrupt the baby's sense of security and trigger separation anxiety.

Parental anxiety: Babies are highly attuned to their parent's emotions. If a parent feels anxious or uneasy about leaving their child, it can be transmitted to the baby, exacerbating their anxiety.

Hewlett says it is important to remember that separation anxiety is a temporary phase.

“[It] will naturally diminish as your baby grows older and develops more self-assurance. By implementing these tips and providing a nurturing and supportive environment, parents can help their babies navigate separation anxiety more easily.”

He says it is possible for a parent to feel like their baby doesn’t love them when they only cry when the other parent leaves but not for them.

Hewlett says some of the emotion parents may feel during this period include fear, anxiety, anger and sadness.

To help you ease your baby as they experience separation anxiety, Affinity Health provides the following tips:

• Start by leaving your baby with a familiar caregiver for short periods and gradually increase the duration of separation over time.
• Establish a consistent daily routine that includes predictable times for separation and reunions. This helps the baby develop a sense of security and predictability.
• Babies can pick up on their parent's emotions. Remaining calm, reassuring, and positive when leaving or returning can help alleviate their anxiety.
• Provide a special toy or blanket that carries the familiar scent of the caregiver. This transitional object can provide comfort and security when the caregiver is absent.
• Practise short separations while staying within sight. For example, you can leave the room for a few moments and then return, gradually increasing the distance and time apart.
• Transparency is critical when easing separation anxiety in your little one. Instead of sneaking away, honesty is the best approach. Take a moment to say goodbye, reassuring your baby that you'll be back soon. When you return, greet your child with a warm smile and a loving hug.
• Engage your baby in fun and interactive activities to redirect their attention and create positive associations with separation. Playing peek-a-boo or offering engaging toys can help distract them from their anxiety.
• Foster your baby's sense of independence by encouraging exploration and self-soothing. Allow them to explore their surroundings and gradually build confidence in their ability to navigate their environment.
• Reach out to other parents or join support groups to share experiences and strategies for managing separation anxiety. Connecting with others who have gone through or are going through similar challenges can provide valuable insights and support.

mashabas@sowetan.co.za