Talking openly about your mental health issues is the first step towards seeking help but importantly, it could break the vicious cycle of violent behaviour.

Men’s mental health has been neglected and stigmatised for a long time and this, among other things, is because of society dictating how men should handle issues they are battling with, experts say.

It is crucial for families, friends and communities to create safe spaces for men to talk openly about mental health problems and seek help without fear of being labelled weak.

“Raising awareness of these issues is particularly important because traditional male gender roles include stoicism in the face of pain and a reluctance to talk about or even acknowledge medical issues or concerns for fear of seeming unmasculine,” says Kena Health clinical coach Dr Schalk Burger.

“Men are more likely to internalise their problems compared to women who are more open to sharing their issues and seeking help. In particular, men find it harder to seek help for mental and emotional issues, as well as sexual health,” says Burger.

The World Health Organisation’s stats show that in 2019, there were 13,774 suicides reported in SA. Of those, 10,861 were men.

“We know that life has not improved since then. The combination of the Covid-19 pandemic, socioeconomic issues such as unemployment and inequality, and tough financial times, combined with the dangerous idea that men should tough things out, can all result in a large body of men feeling increasingly desperate.

“We need a new approach to men’s mental health,” adds Dr Tshepo Sedibe, De Beers Group Managed Operations principal occupational health practitioner.

SA health lead at Anglo American Dr Charles Mbekeni says it’s time to debunk the boys don’t cry fallacy, adding that “it’s important for men to take time to introspect and get to know themselves first – and to take care of themselves”.

“Not only are you more able to take care of your loved ones when you are feeling mentally and emotionally strong but when you need support or someone to prop you up, they will be there for you.”

Mbekeni says when issues of mental health are not tackled, they can also lead to “men being more aggressive and showing signs of violent behaviour and substance abuse – which then perpetuates the cycle, as the next generation is exposed to this behaviour”.

“But men can make a different choice. They can choose not to be permanent victims of past experiences. They can embark on a journey of healing and personal development,” Mbekeni says.

Sedibe says men “need to develop the ability to identify and understand the physical and psychological signs that their bodies give them that all is not well”.

“Learning to look for those signs can help them to better understand their bodies and their mental health so they can take appropriate action, and do so early in the process.

“When it’s just stress, most of those signs will resolve on their own in a fairly short amount of time. However, when they last for weeks or even months, and start to have an impact on friends, family and colleagues, it’s time to take action and seek professional help,” Sedibe says.

The experts emphasised the importance of seeking help.

“There are many places one can turn to for help and men should not be afraid to ask for help. If a man broke his leg, chances are he would go and get professional help to set the bone so it can heal.

“In the same way, mental health issues can be treated and managed and very often healed – but it’s important to take that first step. Reach out to a trusted friend or family member, your family doctor, your local clinic, or one of the toll-free helplines and talk to someone. Take that first step.”

Common warning signs of emotional distress include:

• Eating or sleeping too much or too little;
• Pulling away from people and things you used to enjoy;
• Having low or no energy;
• Having unexplained aches and pains, such as constant stomach aches or headaches;
• Feeling helpless or hopeless;
• Excessive smoking, drinking, or using drugs, including prescription medications;
• Worrying a lot; feeling guilty with no real explanation;
• Thinking of hurting or killing yourself or someone else; and
• Having difficulty feeling settled in your home or work life.

Some of the 24-hour toll-free emergency helplines you can contact for help: Suicide Crisis: 0800 567 567, department of social development substance abuse: 0800 12 13 14/SMS 32312 and national counselling line: 0861 322 322.

mashabas@sowetan.co.za