Stop moping and be positive

I hope you can give me some advice.

I hope you can give me some advice.

I am a lonely woman with one child. The father of my baby passed away three years ago. I have been involved in other relationships, but without luck. The men I was dating were not honest. Currently, I feel as if no one loves me and that the only person who loved me was the father of my baby.

Heartsore, Soweto

Sister, I have no doubt there are loads of people who love you dearly - your family, your friends, and probably even some of your colleagues. And, you have a child who loves you, though he or she might be too young to show that love.

That all makes your life very rich. My heart goes out to you for the heartache of losing the father of your child, and for all the disappointments with men who don't know how to be true to love. But life has to go on and it is no good moping around and feeling sorry for yourself.

Pull yourself together and take a good look at yourself. Is there anything you need to change about your being to make yourself more appealing to the kind of man you want to love, and be loved by?

Perhaps you are too needy, or too cynical? And that frightens away the good ones.

Perhaps you choose the "bad boys" because you believe it to be more of a challenge to win their hearts?

Remember that it always takes two to tango - sometimes a woman recognises the man she is seeing is never going to be a winner, but she sticks with him because she wants to prove she can change him, or because she is so needy that she would rather have the bastard than be alone.

Instead of blaming everyone else for the way you are feeling, make sure you are not doing anything to bring it upon yourself.

When you have done that, start going out with friends and get involved in social situations just for the fun of it.

When you are not looking for it and being desperate for love, the wonderful man you deserve will unexpectedly walk into your life.