I HAVE been in a relationship with a  woman for a  year. During this time, the company she works for transferred  her to Cape Town

We speak every day on the phone  and try to see each  other at least once a  month.

This is not always possible though.

She has been away for four months  now and I think both  of us are feeling  the strain of a long-distance  relationship. Most of the time when we talk on  the  phone, we fight.

As soon as we see each other everything is great. We  really love each  other, but I am starting to wonder if  this  relationship will work .

She is an ambitious woman and there  is no chance of  her transferring back to  Johannesburg any time soon. I  am  doing very well in my career so I cannot move to  Cape Town.

I feel desperate because I love her so  much, but I don’t  know how to make  this work. - Torn, Johannesburg

DUDU WRITES:

Long-distance relationships are never easy.

When you are  together you must discuss the problems   both of you are facing.  Firstly, you have to  establish  whether you  do see a future  together. If this was to  happen, where  would you live and how would this affect   your lives. You need to find out whether  you share the  same goals in life.

If you decide that you want to try and  make it work, then  you have to find ways  of communicating in a more  positive way.

Tell each other how you feel when you  argue and  together find  ways to avoid doing this.  This will give you  a  chance to learn about  each other and whether  you  both are able to  solve challenges  together.

There is no doubt that  if you continue fighting,  your  relationship will  end. If it does, then not  everything is  lost.

Both of you will have learnt valuable  life lessons and  also what you need in a  relationship.