Don't abandon marriage in cold days

Mzansi celebs show their support for commitment, writes Somaya Stockenstroom

DESPITE high divorce rates, there are those who still believe in the institution of marriage.

Several celebrity couples have signed up as ambassadors for Marriage Week, which starts tomorrow and runs until Friday.

The concept is the brainchild of Liezel van der Merwe, managing editor of Intimacy4Us, who says marriage is more about pleasure than duty.

The idea is to help couples not to give up when the going gets tough.

TV presenters Bonolo and Thokozani Nkosi agree: "When it's cold, you put on a jacket, you don't leave the country.

"Don't abandon a marriage when winter sets in."

Singer Lloyd Cele and his wife, Janice, say South Africans are living in a time when the perception of marriage is a negative one.

"I'm tired of seeing our country fall apart because nobody wants to stand for morality, integrity and for families," he says.

"Our society is constantly filled with bad news about marriages, which leaves people thinking there aren't many good marriages out there and that it's best not to get married. We want to bring hope and restore families by being part of this campaign."

The couple, who got married when they were 24, have been together for seven years and admit that at times they felt like throwing in the towel.

"We are not perfect, but we held on, we fought many storms. We love each other endlessly. The first few years we battled with understanding each other. We both always wanted to be right. We got through it by learning to consider the other as more important.

"You must be willing to lay your life down for the person you love. Doing things that make them happy brings you more joy," says the singer.

Radio personalities Mio and Queenie Grootboom-Khondleka, who celebrate their 10th anniversary in two months, do everything together, including presenting their show, Weekday Lunch, on AlgoaFM in the Eastern Cape.

"Working together is our normal, and since the first day we met we haven't spent a lot of time doing things apart. When we are booked separately it often feels weird not being together," Queenie says.

This is their second year as ambassadors of the campaign.

They, too, have had many hurdles in the past decade, financial difficulties being one of them.

"We encourage our listeners to constantly seek and strive for a perfect world. The reality is that sometimes it's very far from it. This experience was highlighted when we worked for a station that couldn't pay us on a monthly basis. Savings were depleted, interest on our debts increased and we were faced with eviction notices. After a two-year battle, we realised that sometimes loyalty doesn't pay the bills. We packed up and returned home to start from scratch," explains Queenie.

The couple say what makes their partnership fun is their deep connection.

"Laughing together and at each other has also been one of the greatest gifts we've given to each other. I allow Mio to surprise me, not necessarily with gifts, but with who and what he is, and I love that I can look at him and think: 'Wow, I'm a lucky girl,'" she says.

She says it is better to marry your best friend so you can "cut to the happily ever after credits quicker".

Their example of making things last is Mio's parents, who celebrated their 44th anniversary this year. Queenie also says that while a lot of attention is given to cheating, the reasons for the cheating are never acknowledged.

"If couples pay attention to the problems that they face when they do arise, there would not be an issue of cheating. Be open and honest with your partner. When communicating sensitive issues, always ensure that you have worked out a solution, too," says Queenie.

Other ambassadors for the campaign include ex-Miss South Africa Joan Ramagoshi and her husband, Jeff Madibeng; Mrs South Africa 2012 Fikile Mekgoe and Pastor Fikile Shabangu; and Kaya FM hosts Mapaseka Mokwele and Thabo "T-bose" Mokwele.

To register for Marriage Week, sign up at www.mymarriage.co.za and wear your white ribbon from September 1 to 7.