HA! Ha! Ha!
That was my first reaction on hearing that Bafana Bafana are slated to face India in a friendly game next month.
What does our national football team know about cricket, I asked, or what do the Indians know about football?
Then we checked the Fifa world rankings and found them at a lowly number 162. We are 53rd, after dropping four places.
Well, it should be a walk in the park for Bafana Bafana.
Just what we need for Vision 2014 - someone we can give a real pasting and then follow that up with Swaziland, Lesotho, Djibouti and so on.
The game against India, in particular, will give me a chance to go back to the Indian suburb of Actonville and deal with some unfinished business following the Zimbabwe debacle by Bafana Bafana.
I hope all involved with the national team will read this.
After Knowledge Musona single-handedly taught us some valuable lessons, I unwittingly ventured into a filling station in Actonville to fix some tyres.
The burly Indian owner was, to my pleasant surprise, reading Sowetan and feeling very happy with himself.
Who wouldn't?
But, for this guy, it was for different reasons altogether, as I soon learnt.
"These monkeys lost to Zimbabwe. Musona showed them how it's done," he said and had a hearty laugh, ha! ha! ha!
Then he asked his mostly foreign audience who also double up as his employees "where are the white players, the coloureds and Indians?", calling the latter as Julius Malema did the other day.
He can get away with saying that word as he is of Indian origin anyway.
But I took offence when he referred to the rest of the team as monkeys.
Before tackling the monkey-business, if you like, I pointed out that the player who scored for Bafana Bafana, Bradley Grobler, is white and the guy keeping goals, Moeneeb Josephs, is so-called coloured. The last local Indian player who could have walked into Bafana Bafana at any time was Zane Moosa.
Please give Safa a call if you know of any local Indian football player that deserves a call-up but has been overlooked by the national coach - preferably a striker.
Now, back to the monkey-business. I thought I would report the man to the Human Rights Commission but decided against it.
He would just apologise and that's it, and Sepp Blatter would ask us to shake hands as such acts are part of the game.
No racism intended.
Our argument was heated and the workers were laughing as he continued vilifying Bafana Bafana.
To avoid inflicting physical harm on the old geezer, I drove off as soon as my tyres were fixed.
For the ordinary fan, losing to any other African team is unacceptable because they are the ones that are taunted by the various foreigners that are in Mzansi.
South Africa is probably the only country on the continent that has so many African expatriates from different countries.
These people then all gang up to support the team that's playing Bafana Bafana and when we lose we get the flak, the taunt.
And it's not nice.
I would rather see the Proteas play the Indians in cricket to celebrate those 150 years of their coming to Mzansi.
Safa is so rich they didn't mind losing out on the 2012 Afcon, deciding they can have their own four-nation tournament instead.
It turned out to be a bad idea and was dumped.
We are now instead going to play Afcon-bound teams such as Zambia and Ghana, among others, to give them much-needed game time and sharpen them for the biennial continental showpiece to be co-hosted by Equatorial Guinea and Gabon.
Bafana Bafana will then watch those teams in high definition (HD) on their plasma screens.
Unzima lomthwalo bafowethu!
Unzim'alomthwalo!
Bafana vs India... you must be joking
HA! Ha! Ha!
That was my first reaction on hearing that Bafana Bafana are slated to face India in a friendly game next month.
What does our national football team know about cricket, I asked, or what do the Indians know about football?
Then we checked the Fifa world rankings and found them at a lowly number 162. We are 53rd, after dropping four places.
Well, it should be a walk in the park for Bafana Bafana.
Just what we need for Vision 2014 - someone we can give a real pasting and then follow that up with Swaziland, Lesotho, Djibouti and so on.
The game against India, in particular, will give me a chance to go back to the Indian suburb of Actonville and deal with some unfinished business following the Zimbabwe debacle by Bafana Bafana.
I hope all involved with the national team will read this.
After Knowledge Musona single-handedly taught us some valuable lessons, I unwittingly ventured into a filling station in Actonville to fix some tyres.
The burly Indian owner was, to my pleasant surprise, reading Sowetan and feeling very happy with himself.
Who wouldn't?
But, for this guy, it was for different reasons altogether, as I soon learnt.
"These monkeys lost to Zimbabwe. Musona showed them how it's done," he said and had a hearty laugh, ha! ha! ha!
Then he asked his mostly foreign audience who also double up as his employees "where are the white players, the coloureds and Indians?", calling the latter as Julius Malema did the other day.
He can get away with saying that word as he is of Indian origin anyway.
But I took offence when he referred to the rest of the team as monkeys.
Before tackling the monkey-business, if you like, I pointed out that the player who scored for Bafana Bafana, Bradley Grobler, is white and the guy keeping goals, Moeneeb Josephs, is so-called coloured. The last local Indian player who could have walked into Bafana Bafana at any time was Zane Moosa.
Please give Safa a call if you know of any local Indian football player that deserves a call-up but has been overlooked by the national coach - preferably a striker.
Now, back to the monkey-business. I thought I would report the man to the Human Rights Commission but decided against it.
He would just apologise and that's it, and Sepp Blatter would ask us to shake hands as such acts are part of the game.
No racism intended.
Our argument was heated and the workers were laughing as he continued vilifying Bafana Bafana.
To avoid inflicting physical harm on the old geezer, I drove off as soon as my tyres were fixed.
For the ordinary fan, losing to any other African team is unacceptable because they are the ones that are taunted by the various foreigners that are in Mzansi.
South Africa is probably the only country on the continent that has so many African expatriates from different countries.
These people then all gang up to support the team that's playing Bafana Bafana and when we lose we get the flak, the taunt.
And it's not nice.
I would rather see the Proteas play the Indians in cricket to celebrate those 150 years of their coming to Mzansi.
Safa is so rich they didn't mind losing out on the 2012 Afcon, deciding they can have their own four-nation tournament instead.
It turned out to be a bad idea and was dumped.
We are now instead going to play Afcon-bound teams such as Zambia and Ghana, among others, to give them much-needed game time and sharpen them for the biennial continental showpiece to be co-hosted by Equatorial Guinea and Gabon.
Bafana Bafana will then watch those teams in high definition (HD) on their plasma screens.
Unzima lomthwalo bafowethu!
Unzim'alomthwalo!
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