CONFESSION BOX: My girlfriend left me after I hit her

I am 27 and was in a relationship with a woman aged 25.

She is intelligent and beautiful, and I sometimes used to look at her and couldn't believe that she would want to be with me.

I was a very jealous person and often got angry when men looked at her or talked to her.

However, she never gave me reason to doubt her and she said she loved me.

We had a terrible fight recently and I ended up hitting her. As soon as I hit her I regretted what I did.

She ended our relationship and said that even though she loved me she would never stay in an abusive relationship.

She also said that she could no longer trust me and was scared of me as she was in an abusive relationship before she met me.

I cannot believe I was so stupid, and now I have lost the only woman I will ever love.

I cannot understand what came over me. Normally I am not a violent person. In fact, this is the first time in my life that I ever raised my hand to another person, let alone a woman.

I wish I could take back all what happened and start all over again.

All I want is for her to give me another chance to prove that I am not a bad person.

How can I convince her that I will never hurt her again? I wish I could take it all back and start again.

We are still friends but I want her back. I want her to give me another chance.

Aching with regret, Mondeor

Unfortunately, I cannot tell you how to win her back. She has been a victim of abuse before and she is probably emotionally scarred.

There is a pattern in abusive relationships whereby the abuser continually promises that the violence will never happen again - but unfortunately it does.

It is understandable that she has ended your relationship, and you are lucky that she is still prepared to be your friend.

You need to seek counseling to determine what triggered the violence and to help you work through your insecurities that make you behave in this manner.

If you don't seek help you will more than likely be abusive in your next relationship. Tell your ex-girlfriend what you are doing so that she knows that you are serious about changing.

Be friendly towards her and don't try and force the relationship. You will have to be patient if you want to try and win her back.

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