WHEN the words: "Mom, dad, I'm pregnant" come out of a teen's mouth, parents are often at a loss as to what to do.

Parents react emotionally, not logically, and the resulting confrontations often leave the teen alone without the support of family members. Most parents cannot accept the fact that their "baby" is in such a predicament.

Apart from the pregnancy announcement, how about this one: "Hey mom. Hey dad: Where do babies come from?"

It's the question every parent dreads. In an instant, everything you know about reproduction is erased from your mind and your tongue is tied.

Undeniably, one of the most difficult times in parenthood is explaining how you became a parent or being summoned to a meeting by your daughter where she announces that she is pregnant.

When asked this question, parents just want to bury their heads in the sand and hope that the problem will sort itself out.

At a loss for words, parents often unknowingly build an invisible wall between themselves and their teenage children. And this is exactly what a parent should never do.

Teenage parenthood is by no means a new social phenomenon. Each year, about 94000 teen pregnancies occur among South Africans aged 15 to 20. This figure does not include the pregnancies that are aborted.

Parents can help prevent teenage pregnancy by providing guidance to their children about sexuality, contraception and the risks and responsibilities of intimate relationships.

During my interaction with teenagers as part of recording Let's Talk, a song encouraging people to talk about teenage pregnancy, Minister of Health Aaron Motsoaledi and I found that the key areas that needed improving include enlisting parents in this government effort.

Other factors areschool-based and school-linked comprehensive sex education, the adoption of local solutions to solve local problems and the promotion of reliable long-term contraception among teens.

Talking about sex, sexuality, contraception and reproduction does not give teens the green light to have sex, as some parents fear. An open, honest dialogue can prevent misinformation and unnecessary risk-taking.

For teenagers, there is a need for a more holistic approach in providing education on reproductive health and human sexuality. We need services that do not stigmatise or pass moral judgments.

Whether the message is abstinence, safe sex, disease prevention or contraception, it needs to be accurate and clear.

As parents, we need to understand that young people need to be able to ask questions such as: What does sex feel like? How do you do it? When is it best? What does it do to your relationship? What's the likelihood of getting pregnant?

If children ask questions, they deserve answers. Our children need to talk to caring adults to develop their own values and limits, which include using birth control.

But this is still very embarrassing for many parents. It's no wonder that teenagers have such a difficult time talking about sex honestly with peers and with those they become sexually involved with.

Far too many parents are not willing to spend time building a trusting relationship with their kids. Involved adults need to be with kids to give the kind of guidance and support that helps them make healthy and wise choices.

Teenagers need essential information about birth control and how to avoid sexually transmitted diseases.

More schools now provide sex education, but there are still dangerous areas of ignorance. Comprehensive sexuality education, including education about abstinence, does help young people defer sexual intercourse.

From the stories of the teenagers I met during my Let's Talk campaign I have concluded that if parents want kids to be happy and successful in relationships, they need to start with how birth works when they are young and talk to them through their teens.

lYvonne Chaka Chaka is a South African music legend and a Unicef goodwill ambassador