IF RELATIONSHIPS were ruled by heads and not by emotions, we would have a plan in place that took into consideration that some things do come to an end.
At the beginning of every relationship we would spell out exactly what should happen during a break-up. This would be to avoid the messy situation most people find themselves in when they part ways.
At least some clever married couples marry out of community of property and some even go to the extent of drawing up a prenuptial agreement.
For the rest of the population who fall in love with rose-coloured glasses and hormones fogging their brains, many a lover's true character comes out during the break-up.
It is so ugly to see your former lover turning into an animal you do not recognise.
It's just like catching a blood-sucking vampire before dawn, and it can get really messy.
OK, cutting the trouser legs from his expensive suits and the arms from his shirts and bashing his favourite car is so 1990. Are ugly break-ups really necessary?
In the US, websites dedicated to and targeted at wives and girlfriends whose hearts have been broken are thriving. For example, shesahomewrecker.com is a mean site where women can post images and addresses of the "other woman" and disparage her.
They even have a section called Betrayed Wives Club in which women whose husbands have left them share their pity stories and counsel each other.
At least the site now has a section called He's a Home Wrecker with posts by men who have been dumped. Adversaries' jealous rages after break-ups are not limited to women.
In fact, I noticed that as much as taking all their belongings after a break-up - including curtains and teaspoons - is a common modus operandi for many women, men also act in a somewhat peculiar manner after being dumped.
I never quite understood why men would refuse to hand over the belongings of their ex-girlfriends to exact revenge.
I mean why are you keeping a drawer full of G-strings? And why, when you know that you did not buy that fridge do you suddenly refuse to let her come into your flat and take the furniture you know she bought with her hard-earned money?
Some men go to the extent of threatening to become violent. It is amazing to see a man who never once displayed tendencies of woman-bashing throughout a five-year relationship suddenly acting like a wounded animal that is being cornered, going all aggro so that he can hold on to a flat screen TV that is not his.
A few years ago, I was astounded by the lengths a male colleague's boyfriend went to in order to expose that his lover, according to the boyfriend, was a "wretched gay snake".
The colleague was known as a ladies' man at work. His boyfriend, after being dumped, decided it was his duty to out him.
He wrote an angry letter to him and copied the e-mail to other people, attaching a few compromising pictures. As we were reading the e-mail that morning, all shocked, we heard loud shouting coming from the reception area.
It was the ex-lover who wanted to personally deliver some very private items that he said his ex had left at his flat, including sex toys. He did all this while telling everyone who could hear that our colleague was not to be trusted, as he gave us all some free advice to watch our backs around him.
Women are also perpetrators of ugliness after they are scorned.
A friend of mine is caught up as a spectator in a nasty break-up between one of her friends - let's call her Lerato - and her ex.
Although the ex called it quits four months ago, 38-year-old Lerato has made a point of flaunting her 22-year-old Ben 10 lover by posting messages about her new-found happiness on social media.
She is tagging most of her and her ex's mutual friends to ensure that she has an audience. But many have been put off by her pathetic behaviour and have asked her to stop tagging them.
In her posts she refers to her former lover and shares the dirt about him with others. She refers to her more dynamic Ben 10 as an upgrade from her ex.
Sharing the young man's wild bedroom antics, she contrasts him with her ex and calls him a boring madala (old man) in bed.
She posts everything she does with her Ben 10 - from their meals to their passionate embraces. If she has moved on why is she flaunting her new love like that?
Ugly break-ups are cruel. They bring out the beasts in us.
l Follow me on Twitter @MapulaNkosi
It's all love and fun until you get dumped
IF RELATIONSHIPS were ruled by heads and not by emotions, we would have a plan in place that took into consideration that some things do come to an end.
At the beginning of every relationship we would spell out exactly what should happen during a break-up. This would be to avoid the messy situation most people find themselves in when they part ways.
At least some clever married couples marry out of community of property and some even go to the extent of drawing up a prenuptial agreement.
For the rest of the population who fall in love with rose-coloured glasses and hormones fogging their brains, many a lover's true character comes out during the break-up.
It is so ugly to see your former lover turning into an animal you do not recognise.
It's just like catching a blood-sucking vampire before dawn, and it can get really messy.
OK, cutting the trouser legs from his expensive suits and the arms from his shirts and bashing his favourite car is so 1990. Are ugly break-ups really necessary?
In the US, websites dedicated to and targeted at wives and girlfriends whose hearts have been broken are thriving. For example, shesahomewrecker.com is a mean site where women can post images and addresses of the "other woman" and disparage her.
They even have a section called Betrayed Wives Club in which women whose husbands have left them share their pity stories and counsel each other.
At least the site now has a section called He's a Home Wrecker with posts by men who have been dumped. Adversaries' jealous rages after break-ups are not limited to women.
In fact, I noticed that as much as taking all their belongings after a break-up - including curtains and teaspoons - is a common modus operandi for many women, men also act in a somewhat peculiar manner after being dumped.
I never quite understood why men would refuse to hand over the belongings of their ex-girlfriends to exact revenge.
I mean why are you keeping a drawer full of G-strings? And why, when you know that you did not buy that fridge do you suddenly refuse to let her come into your flat and take the furniture you know she bought with her hard-earned money?
Some men go to the extent of threatening to become violent. It is amazing to see a man who never once displayed tendencies of woman-bashing throughout a five-year relationship suddenly acting like a wounded animal that is being cornered, going all aggro so that he can hold on to a flat screen TV that is not his.
A few years ago, I was astounded by the lengths a male colleague's boyfriend went to in order to expose that his lover, according to the boyfriend, was a "wretched gay snake".
The colleague was known as a ladies' man at work. His boyfriend, after being dumped, decided it was his duty to out him.
He wrote an angry letter to him and copied the e-mail to other people, attaching a few compromising pictures. As we were reading the e-mail that morning, all shocked, we heard loud shouting coming from the reception area.
It was the ex-lover who wanted to personally deliver some very private items that he said his ex had left at his flat, including sex toys. He did all this while telling everyone who could hear that our colleague was not to be trusted, as he gave us all some free advice to watch our backs around him.
Women are also perpetrators of ugliness after they are scorned.
A friend of mine is caught up as a spectator in a nasty break-up between one of her friends - let's call her Lerato - and her ex.
Although the ex called it quits four months ago, 38-year-old Lerato has made a point of flaunting her 22-year-old Ben 10 lover by posting messages about her new-found happiness on social media.
She is tagging most of her and her ex's mutual friends to ensure that she has an audience. But many have been put off by her pathetic behaviour and have asked her to stop tagging them.
In her posts she refers to her former lover and shares the dirt about him with others. She refers to her more dynamic Ben 10 as an upgrade from her ex.
Sharing the young man's wild bedroom antics, she contrasts him with her ex and calls him a boring madala (old man) in bed.
She posts everything she does with her Ben 10 - from their meals to their passionate embraces. If she has moved on why is she flaunting her new love like that?
Ugly break-ups are cruel. They bring out the beasts in us.
l Follow me on Twitter @MapulaNkosi
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