MY ex-husband and I were married for three years.

We met at high school and married when I was 23 and he was 26. We were very happy for the first two years but after a while I started to lose interest.

I met a man at work and he was so exciting. He made me feel like a queen and I completely lost myself in him. He made promises about a future together and I believed him. I told my husband that I wanted a divorce. He was devastated.

I was so in love that I didn't care what my husband was going through. I insisted and we divorced.

Shortly afterwards, I found out that my boyfriend was a liar. He was married and had a reputation for messing around with young women.

When I heard this, I knew exactly what I had done to my husband. I felt exactly what he felt when I behaved so cruelly. I had to look for a new job because everyone at work was gossiping.

I was at such a low point that I even considered suicide. I realised that I made the biggest mistake of my life when I divorced my husband.

All I want now is to repair our relationship. I am so ashamed of myself for the way I have behaved and I have hurt so many people, including all his family.

I spoke to my ex-husband recently and I apologised for everything. I also asked him if he thought it would be possible for us to be together again?

He was shocked and said that although he still loved me, he doubted that because he would never be able to trust me. I don't blame him.

I wish I hadn't been so stupid and selfish.

Do you think I should try and win him back?

Ashamed, Pretoria

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Dudu Responds

This is a very sad situation that you find yourself in.

Many couples experience what you are going through. Looking back, they believe they should have tried harder to sort out their problems and make the marriage work.

It is difficult to say whether you should try and win him back.

Firstly, you must make sure that you want to get back for the right reasons. I don't think this would work without sorting out the problems you both experienced before.

If he decides to give you another chance, it would take serious hard work, patience and time before this would be possible.

When trust is broken, it is hard to regain. If you are going to try and reconcile, you will have to take small steps. Ask him if he minds if you phone sometimes to find out how he is. If he doesn't mind, then phone him a few of times a month. Don't rush him.

Later, perhaps you can ask him to meet you for lunch and in this way slowly build up a friendship.

There is a chance that he will never come back to you and you must be prepared for that.

You will heal in time and get over your mistakes and hopefully learn from them.