I recently got married and I'm extremely blessed to be with a wise, intelligent woman who also lives up to her name, Beauty.

We've known each other since primary school and I love her deeply.

One of the things I've always admired about my wife is her insight which she delivers so effortlessly.

One morning I was looking for some socks to wear and came upon a small grey sock.

I couldn't quite recollect whether it was a sock I'd bought for myself or if it was one of hers. When I asked her, she replied with two simple, yet profound, words. She said: "It's ours".

In relationships, it's not mine, it's not yours, it's ours. If one of us signs a big business contract, then "we've" signed a big business contract. If one of us isn't feeling well, then "we're" not feeling well. Unity defines a real relationship.

The reason a tent isn't able to weather a storm is because it has no foundation. It is not united to anything on a deep level. When you move from a "me" mentality to a "we" mentality, it means you have become one.

It's much easier to divide two than it is to divide one. With two, you simply have to pull them apart but with one, you actually have to cut through.

As I pondered this, I realised that the divisions and issues in our society would be so much easier to resolve if we realised that "it's ours". Both the good and the bad are ours.

The days of celebrations and the days of mourning are '"ours". They don't belong to one section of society or one political constituency.

The perception that poverty or homelessness or any of the other social ills are a problem only for the poor or the government is wrong. We're all affected.

Acknowledging that it's ours will be a stepping stone towards collectively finding a solution.

Communities that realise the crime in their area is not the problem of the person whose house was burgled will form crime-watch groups to work to decrease the crime levels.

Of course, I must not be interpreted to encourage or condone actions such as mob justice. I'm simply stating that if criminals know that, in a particular community, the residents look out for one another, then this will deter criminal activity.

Divided companies don't stay in business for long. And, even if they stay in business, they do not operate at full potential. Divisions create animosity. In some environments there seems to be a constant tug-of-war and, in a tug-of-war, there is always a loser.

This can result in bitterness and a bitter employee, business partner or colleague will not be 100% present. Their bodies may be there but their hearts and minds might be drifting upon a smoky cloud of unresolved tensions.

When a colleague recognises that what his/her colleague will be presenting to a client is ours and does not belong to that particular colleague, then they will be eager to help them polish it and make it excellent.

A divided people are a conquered people. Even the apartheid government used this tactic to make sure that the black majority would never be truly united. By creating areas for Zulus, Sothos, Vendas, and so forth, they created divisions among the population. We were able to gain victory once Xhosas and Pedis shared ideas and Tsongas sang freedom songs with Coloureds.

What our country needs to begin saying is "it's ours". It is a foolish stone that says to the slingshot, "I do not need you". We all need one another if we're going to become more useful, productive and effective.

We are blessed to be such a multifaceted country, with people of many different talents. The various challenges that our country faces need us to combine those talents and tackle them collectively. It's ours!

lSeleme is an author and motivational speaker