Wife-beaters need help

WE have just commemorated 16 Days of Activism.

WE have just commemorated 16 Days of Activism.

I am one of those men who abuse women. I am not going to justify what I do. I don't drink or smoke. I never want to fail, and to people I look successful in my work and in the way I dress.

I have on several occasions beaten my partner, whom I love dearly. It takes courage for me to write this letter. Though it is a shameful thing to do, that is what all men do and at least nine out of 10 men beat their partners.

It is a hereditary thing we cannot run away from. Where we come from in our jolling day is where we saw it done.

I am against abuse in all its forms, but there is a reason why we sometimes end up doing what we do and end up being called abusers. We men are weak and women are powerful and the only way we know how to communicate is the way our forefathers taught us to.

I suffer from depression at the moment and I don't need any conflict situation. When that happens I experience full rage, which is caused by past experiences.

I don't like what people write in newspapers, especially men and columnists who say they don't beat their women. I' ve done it several times. I might not divulge the content of my relationship with my partner but it is a reality.

In the old days I learnt that these things were done and were "acceptable ". The same with statutory and incest rape. In those days there was nothing called a "handball" baby. Elders would sit with the person they impregnated and sort it out the "African way".

Nowadays people have excessive rights, especially women, and weaker men like myself go ballistic. My message to women with Christian values is, follow the book of Ephesians, which says: "Women, respect your husbands and be submissive to them and men in the same way respect your women."

Society lacks respect and parents-in-law are bad advisers - especially when a man earns less than a woman, a man does not work or he is deemed weaker in some way. Two wrongs don't make a right.

I support the 16-Day initiative, but those who are leading the moral regeneration fight must address the issues holistically.

Weaker men are fighting for recognition. They want the right to discipline their kids and the right to a respectful family, but their actions seem to achieve the reverse.

Men like me must seek help.

There is life after depression, separation and Aids. Women, you are made of me and in the image of God. Find your respect and your roles in the community.

Jacob Letsoalo, Klipgat