IT IS ALL ABOUT CONTACT
Sex with a stranger can be erotic and thrilling as hell. Notwithstanding the risks if you should be so unlucky as to find a moron.
But what if you met someone and the stranger landed in your bed the same night? What if he, or she rocked your world and made you feel like something out of the book Kama Sutra and managed to keep you in stitches?
Some stands remain that way because of the culture of an overnight vat-en-sit notion. We often limit our mind's horizons with the notion that one-night stands are not relationship material.
Yet most fully-fledged relationships started out as one-night encounters that led to exchanging contact numbers.
Faith Mgubhuli remembers hers.
"We were all the wrong things that relationship laws warn against. He was a colleague, we were both drunk and I was still reeling from a previous relationship."
She says the thought that she would enjoy his company was the last of her wishes.
"I didn't want quality time with him. I just wanted to sex the pain away."
What she didn't know was that the admin guy who is now her husband was not only sexually compatible, he was a joke machine with the legs of a Greek God.
"Instead of romancing the pain away, he made me laugh it off and rocked my world. By lunch time the following day, it was clear that he would be around for the whole weekend."
Faith is one of the few who had fate orchestrating her destiny. Most people realise a few days later that they should have exchanged numbers.
"I put that down to fate because that's how I learnt to appreciate a guy whose scent and voice continue to haunt me," says Nonhle Bloom.
"I met him on my way to a bathroom in a club. I wasn't really looking at the time, but there was this other pest demanding my number and out of the blue this gorgeous man turned to me like an old boyfriend and asked: 'Honey when do we leave?' And we left two hours later.
"We had sex like rabbits that night. And maybe I had had too much to drink, but he sounded like an intellectual. In the morning, on his way to wherever, he asked me to call him later. I was still so sleepy I just shut the door behind him without asking where his number was."
Five months later, Nonhle turns with every black A3 Audi, hoping it's the sexy stranger.
"I don't even know his car registration. I feel so pathetic."
If you want to set the mark without overrunning the base, you have to learn how to balance things so well that you both have contact numbers. Contact is all there is to it.
Be charming. Learn to be a player and be so smooth that he, or she gives you information without even knowing it.
Be cool - unless you are joking. Even if she says the most outrageous thing, act cool and you might find that she was testing your nerves.
Compliment her, or him - this will reserve you a special place in her, or his heart.
Be polite - ask nicely and say thank you.
Ask for his, or her number - even if you know you won't call. It shows you're not a raging goat looking only to get laid.