Tense about date with cyber mate

I broke up with my boyfriend four years ago and was very lonely for a long time. Then I discovered Internet dating sites and I have been having a ball.

I broke up with my boyfriend four years ago and was very lonely for a long time. Then I discovered Internet dating sites and I have been having a ball.

Two months ago I "met" a guy on a local site. We have been emailing each other every day. We exchanged phone numbers and have SMSed and chatted.

He sounds great and comes across as sensitive and romantic. From his photo, he looks good and has a good body.

We are meeting for lunch this weekend and I am very nervous. What if I don't like him? What if he doesn't look like his photograph? What if he has just been putting up a very good act and is nothing like his emails and SMSs. Even worse, what if he doesn't like me?

Cyber Jitters, Soweto

Lower your expectations, sister, and head for your lunch as if you are meeting a potential new friend. That is all he is. You haven't started a relationship and you don't know anything about him.

You are right when you say he could have been putting on a good show. Ensure that you meet him in a very public place because he may just be a criminal who intends ripping you off.

Do not let him know where you live until you are absolutely sure that he is all he says he is. Take it slow, just as you would with any stranger. It is easy to lie and make up fantasies in email and SMSs, and far harder to keep it up in real life. Be cautious and don't rush into anything. If you have not lied about yourself, there's no reason why he shouldn't like you in the flesh too.

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