Make up or break up

I am 23 and my boyfriend is the same age. We were together for three years but this year I broke up with him for two months.

I am 23 and my boyfriend is the same age. We were together for three years but this year I broke up with him for two months.

Then he spoke to me and we got back together.

The problem is that he no longer trusts me and is worried that I will break up with him again. I have tried to convince him that I love him and have told him that the only reason I dumped him was because we used to fight a lot and I could not take it. I needed peace and I knew that both of us were not enjoying the relationship.

When we first got back together he treated me badly by not talking to me nicely and not paying attention to me. He admitted that he was treating me badly to punish me for dumping him.

He said he would stop treating me badly but I am tired of the situation and am confused. If he loves me, why did he make me suffer like that? What should I do?

Confused, Gauteng

What you should do is grow up, both of you.

Sit down like two adults and discuss your relationship, what you want and what you can offer.

Discuss trust and all the other stuff that is bothering both of you. Then resolve to either make the relationship work, or walk away.

If you decide to stick with it, then he must genuinely forgive and stop the punishment immediately. And, he must trust you. If he can't, he should be honest and tell you.

If you think you are going to dump him every few months or years, when the going gets tough, then tell him and let him decide whether he wants to stick with you.

Whatever you do, both of you have to stop the childish tactics of punishing one another with break ups and dishonest make ups. Act like adult people.

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