I'm now pregnant with my married lover's baby

Relationship advice from experts

I'M 25 years old and I just found out that I'm pregnant with my married boyfriend's child.

I'm keeping the baby but what's the worst that can happen?

MOM replies: The worst that can happen is that the wife will find out and most probably divorce him. She may also sue you for causing the collapse of their marriage. The baby may not even have a proper relationship with the father, especially if he stays married or the stepmother may be mean to your child if the father is in its life.

The worst thing that has just happened is that you have messed up your life by going out with a married man. What were you thinking?

Boitumelo replies: It's sad when women like you don't realise the power you have over your lives, especially when it comes to reproductive health and emotional wellbeing. You don't have to have children with any men you go into a relationship with. You gave your power away.

It's okay when you decide to keep the baby but what is your expectation from your married boyfriend in this situation? Does he want to co-parent with you?Will you be fine being a single parent and not be angry and bitter if he does not show any interest in the child's life or your struggles with single parenting? How are you going to manage your emotions as a parent over this situation?

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My boyfriend of four months never calls me. Every time we speak on the phone, it would be because I called him. What can I do to make him call me?

MOM replies: It is not wise to force a person to give you attention. Your boyfriend doesn't seem inspired to initiate communication with you.

You are the one who must change, not him. Don't call him and watch what happens thereafter. Be ready to move on and look for a new boyfriend if he continues with his silence.

Boitumelo replies: Most women I come across love it when a man drools over them.

When he can't wait to see you or hear your voice. You can sense his passion and desire for you, for the relationship.

If you want your life to remain boring and difficult, stick with this guy.

It seems to me that you are imposing yourself on someone who has no real interest in you. For four months you've been pursuing a guy who never returns your calls, let it go.

Tshenkeng is a qualified clinical psychologist. E-mail her on tumi.tshenkeng@gmail.com

Mahlobo is a seduction expert, relationship coach and author.mandisaomahlobo@gmail.com