Widower won't open up to me

I AM a woman in my late 40s and in love with a widower. He lost his wife 11 years ago. The problem I have is that he does not want to share his feelings with me. He blows hot and cold.

When I talk to him about this he says he loves me, but he has to take care of his children.

I understand that, but the situation is frustrating me.

As much as I understand his pain, I am hurting too. Please, sis Dudu, help me because I love this man so much. Confused Person, Katlehong

Dudu says:

This is not an easy situation for you, him or his children.

Though 11 years might seem a long time to you, there is no limit to grief.

Some people never get over the loss of a loved one, but do learn to live with it.

You must understand that he might feel guilty about loving another woman and uncomfortable talking about his late wife.

He also might feel that if he allows a new woman into his life his children might feel that he is trying to replace their mother.

Get to know each other very well and in time he might feel more confident to share his feelings with you. Enjoy the time you spend with each other and don't put pressure on him to commit to you.

With all this in mind, you will have to be patient if you really love him.