Men who sponge off women

He is a leech who sucks out women's lives and their vigour, not to mention drains their pockets and their hearts dry.

He uses women as golden geese, taking advantage of all the freebies he can get his dirty paws on, without a hint of guilt or appreciation. He is a scrub. says a man like this is born with extraordinary powers of persuasion. But his real power comes from the way he profiles and targets only the kind of women who make his job easy: women with low self-esteem.

This kind of man only spends his time on employed, homely and matronly women who need love and attention in a big way. A scrub is good at smelling out this type, and once he does, he pounces on his victim.

He starts by telling the woman how beautiful she is. Secure women would immediately recognise this buttering up as a con game, which is why he screens them out. But women with low self-esteem fall for it easily.

Now he is ready to give his poverty speech, which makes the woman dive for her chequebook. says though men are usually the ones who throw money at problem relationships, insecure women are an interesting exception to this rule.

Because she is afraid to lose him, the woman gives him "loans" on very favourable terms. If the scrub realises he is not getting what he wants, he drops the woman and moves on.

A scrub does not allow his emotions to cloud his perceptions and actions; he always keeps his eye on the prize.

l Babalwa Mneno says she is immune to these kind of guys.

"I look like a million dollars. I am a style slave and I maintain style and class. No scrub approaches me. They take one look and run. They can see that I am high maintenance."

She says she goes all out to look hot.

"My look is not cheap at all. If there is any scrub who wants to approach me he must work hard first. Buying things for men is not in my dictionary.

"I do not buy things for men. I do not want a man to ask me for anything. I must be the one who voluntarily does it."

l Kedibone Mkhabela says she once dated a scrub who had a habit of buzzing and sent her messages to call him.

"That man was a huge turn- off. He thought that I owed him something. I only called him back three times. After that I called it a day.

"I am an independent woman, but I still want to be taken care of. I do not mean the nigger must buy me a car, but at least he must take me out."

Mkhabela says she detects the signs of a scrub early and leaves.

"I can see a scrub very early in a relationship. The idea of dating a dependent man does not sit comfortably with me. I have worked hard to be where I am. I want a man who is a hard worker."

lNambitha Mpumlwana also says a scrub is a no-no.

"I am raising a son and I have to have someone who will be a role model to him. What message will I be sending if I date a scrub?"

But Mpumlwana reveals that she once dated a scrub when she was in her 20s. She decided to dump him because he did not show interest in working for himself.

"The man clearly had no vision for his life or for mine. He sat there and did nothing. When I saw that I was literally the one driving the boat, I ran a mile."

Scrubs prey on women who lack pride, writes Zenoyise Madikwa