The lengths women go to for stylish hair

The problem with black women's hair is that you have to contend with only two types of hair salons that are available on the market.

There is the extremely upmarket ones in fancy malls where first the decor of the place can shame a lot of our own attempts at interior decorating at our homes.

The air-condition and toilets on the premises are working, the stylists are all wearing professional uniforms and depending on the prices you pay for your hair, you are usually greeted with a cup of coffee or glass of juice as part of the pamper service.

The extreme end, the dodgier and more common salons consist of a mish-mash of furniture, an old couch where the stylists' children usually sleep during the day, the taps and air condition are either unavailable or do not work. Their definition of decor consists of garish mirrors and posters of African American celebrities making up their wall paper.

As for the toilet, you have to know where the salon manager keeps the key and may have to walk to a dark alley to get to a loo.

In many of these salons spotting a pregnant cockroach making a beeline for your bag is one of those daily occurrences. There is just no middle ground here - so many of us who cannot afford to pay R900 just to have a hair cut and R400 just to wash your hair at a fancy salon regularly visit these alternatives.

With class and status comes the kind of stylist who will do your hair. Most fascinating is the stylist from the downtown salon, many of whom have these common characteristics.

For starters, if you are not clear and firm about the kind of style you are looking for, the downtown stylist can bully you to choose thicker braids instead of thin ones and choosing colour 1 of black synthetic hair because that is what she has in stock instead of colour 4, and, trust me, when it comes to synthetic hair we all know that no black colour is the same.

Some of the stylists automatically use the salons as crèches for their kids. Understandably, because they often don't even get paid a living wage, it makes sense for them to bring their kids to work. At any given time infants are toddling around the salon.

The stylists ensure that the TV is on a channel of their own preference and not what their clients may want to watch. Jacob Zuma may be making a watershed speech that he is finally resigning as president but the channel dial will most likely be on a loud music programme or on Mzansi Magic's Nollywood stories.

The stylists have a certain knack of catching up with each other while they do your hair.

Forget individual attention to your hair; the stylist will take a break every 10 minutes adding their spicy bit to a conversation with someone at the other end of the salon as they continue to talk over your head.

The stylists never concede that they do not know how to plait a certain hairstyle. Do not ever believe them when you verbally explain a certain hairstyle to them or take an image from a magazine that you want them to try because you are likely to walk out of the salon disappointed. You get the best results only when you do a hairstyle that you noticed from a previous client.

And beware the stylist will always try to sell you the latest version of hair fertiliser or hair grow. Ranging from ancient Asian secret ingredients or some latest natural remedy, the product they sold you two months ago can no longer do the job as they try to get you to buy their latest find they swear by.

But despite all the shortcomings when it comes to customer service from these salons, once you find that hair stylist who really knows how to plait your hair and always comes up with new hairstyles and hair textures, you are most willing to look the other way and go back again and again, until another new hairstylist comes along.