CONFESSION BOX: I killed my baby and feel I will never be happy again

I AM 22 years old and my boyfriend is 30. We have known each other since primary school and after high school we lost touch.

When we met again a few years ago he was getting a divorce. He has a child with his ex-wife.

We started seeing each other again and after a few months I fell pregnant.

He insisted that I have an abortion.

He said that we could have children later on as he had enough problems at that time.

I did not tell anyone because I come from a very strict Catholic home and abortion is a sin.

I have had a very heavy heart since the abortion and I feel as if I will never be happy again.

I still love my boyfriend but we don't see much of each other any more. He gave me no support through this ordeal and says that I must come right with my attitude.

This doesn't really bother me and, in fact, nothing does.

I go through my life every day feeling nothing. I am just waiting for something bad to happen to me because I killed my baby.

How can I feel better again? Ashamed, Pretoria

You have really gone through a hard time and I can understand how helpless and sad you are feeling. As hard as it might be for you to talk to your parents, I really think you should tell them what has happened to you.

Explain that you have made mistakes but have learnt from them and with their help you want to start a new life. Or you could talk to your church priest.

It doesn't sound as if your boyfriend has been understanding or supportive, so perhaps you should consider separating from him and focus on healing yourself.

You must go for counselling and possibly should be referred by a doctor. You could be suffering from depression and need medical help.

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