Top 10 things parents should avoid saying to children
Children are a parents’ greatest gift but can sometimes be an overwhelming responsibility to carry daily - which leads to some very frustrating moments.
Parents will always have certain expectations from their children and when those measures are not met, disappointment follows.
Mothers and fathers are in fact also far from perfect - and often relationships where parents and children learn from each other are successful ones.
Communication is key. Good communication is what most children long for.
One of the things that some parents often do, is say the wrong things to their children. A relationship between a parent and a child should be healthy, where one can learn from the other.
How you speak to your child and engage in their every day life will either have a positive or a negative effect.
Today, we look at 10 things that parents should avoid saying to their children.
- Stop comparing: There is nothing more heart breaking than being compared to, because it simply means no matter what your child does they will never be good enough. Whether you are comparing them to family members, siblings or friends, stop it now. This highly contributes to lowering your child’s self-esteem especially when it’s the parents doing all the crushing. Love your child for who they are. Each child is an individual.
- Stop telling your child that they never do anything right: The tongue is powerful and words spoken can hardly be reversed. Being called a screw-up or an idiot is demeaning. As a parent kids will take everything you say to them to heart. Focus on the things they are good at and compliment them on that.
- “I wish I never had kids”: When you say that to your child in an argument, a child may feel unloved. As a parent you might say those words without meaning them but this can make your relationship with your child more volatile. Rather bite your tongue than speaking harsh words.
- “That’s ridiculous, you can’t be upset over that”: Remember children are sensitive, especially teenagers. A child can get upset over a situation that may seem petty. Consider your child’s thoughts and feelings, but it's their reaction to the situation. It may be petty for you, but a big deal for them. Support them emotionally when they're upset.
- “You useless”: Never tell a child that they are not of any use, you are making your child despondent.
- “You're not my favorite child”: Choosing kids and showing favor is an issue. There is nothing more tormenting than hearing your mom or dad tell you about how she loves the other child more. This causes fights and jealousy amongst siblings.
- “You are not as pretty as your sister”: Trying to make your child feel less beautiful when she is disobedient is a very cruel thing, this can stimulate hatred.
- Do not bad mouth your child’s father or mother: No matter how bad the relationship is between you and the father/mother of your child, there is no need for you to call him/her names and teaching your child about how much of a loser their father/mother is. If you have nothing nice to say about your baby daddy/mama to your kid, rather not say a word.
- “I don’t have time for you”: If you don’t have time as a parent for your child, who else is supposed to take care of their needs or to listen to them?. Never be too busy for your child. Every child needs their mom and dad's attention.
- “I know I’m right. There’s nothing you can do to convince me otherwise: Those words imply that as a parent you have made up your mind even if your child is not in the wrong. Your pride makes you not to acknowledge your faults as a parent. Sometimes parents are found to be in the wrong.
Follow Bongi Sithole on Twitter@bongirand2