BEING pregnant is one of the happiest times in a woman's life but sometimes it can also be a phase of anxiety and uneasiness.
Pontsho Nooe, 20, of Westonaria on the West Rand, completed high school in 2009.
Two years later, at 19, she became pregnant. Due to give birth next month, she still has fears and admits she is not ready.
"I am terrified," she says. "I even have nightmares about giving birth. I am not really prepared and my main concern is giving myself wholeheartedly to another person."
She also feels as if she has sacrificed a lot. Initially she wanted to further her studies. She wanted to study medicine, which takes seven years to complete, but has now settled for bio-medical technology, that will only take four years.
"I had to change my career path. The sooner I finish studying, the sooner I can get a job to support my child," she says.
Like any young woman in the prime of life, changes to her body have affected her self-esteem.
"The stretchmarks, weight gain ... I cannot handle it. The first couple of months I tried so hard to hide the belly, I even stopped going out. I felt unattractive, had the worst mood swings and weird cravings."
The worst thing was she would not take responsibility for the pregnancy and blamed her 25-year-old boyfriend instead.
"When I found out I was pregnant both my boyfriend and I were shocked and scared. I could not tell my parents," Nooe says.
"At some point I thought about abortion. The first few months were not a happy time."
With the embarrassment of being "Miss Popular" in high school and then falling pregnant at that age, added to the fact of a young couple getting odd looks when out in public and having to adjust to the changes, Nooe was assured by her supportive partner that she and the baby would be fine.
Lauren Sithebe, 32, of Vosloorus, Ekurhuleni, is a human resources specialist at the department of education.
She is now five and a half months pregnant with her first child. She is dumbfounded because she does not know much about being pregnant.
"I feel so dumb," she says jokingly. "I do not know a lot about pregnancy, so I read a lot of books for reference."
Though unplanned, when Sithebe discovered she was pregnant she had mixed feelings, with her "single" status being her biggest concern.
"I was happy, shocked and worried all at the same time, but I am more afraid of being a single parent," she says.
She is in a relationship with the father of the baby but points out that what happens in the future remains a mystery.
"Yes, I do have a boyfriend, but relationships sometimes fail. Anything can happen," she points out.
Like any parent, all she wants is a healthy baby.
"When you're pregnant you do not know what kind of baby you're carrying. Sometimes when it does not move I think something is wrong. The smallest thing makes you worry," Sithebe says.
The big-bodied Sithebe says she has not experienced the many changes pregnant women tend to complain about.
"I am a big person naturally but my belly is not so big. Only my breasts went a size up. I did not even get the common sickness that other women get," Sithebe says.
The scariest thing that happened to her was a mysterious bleeding when she was three months into her pregnancy. Luckily it turned out to be nothing serious.
Despite all the emotions and changes, Sithebe says carrying a little person inside her is a wonderful feeling and she cannot wait to give birth.
"I look forward to holding my baby in my arms," she says.
For Florence Lesabeer, 42, of Diepkloof in Soweto, pregnancy was heartbreaking and left her vulnerable. She gave birth to her son in June last year. She has two other children aged 20 and nine.
"When I discovered I was pregnant I was heartbroken. I am a grown woman now. I did not know what to do in that situation. I get by on odd jobs. It is all I can do to raise my kids," says the single parent.
Lesabeer also mentions that her 20-year-old son is astonished but most supportive, while her nine-year-old daughter is happy to have a younger sibling.
After skipping her contraceptives on three occasions, Lesabeer says the unplanned pregnancy led to tons of physical pain.
"I had many complications. Swollen aching feet, bleeding silver stripes, sleepless nights, aching and sometimes numb hands, headaches and blood pressure three times higher than usual are all things I went through.
"The doctor told me every ache I experienced was as a result of my age. He said I would be fine after giving birth," she says.
Lesabeer says the worst thing during her pregnancy was her constant fear.
"I was always afraid. I used to rush to the clinic at the slightest ache. It was always blamed on my age," Lesabeer says.
Her body and health changed for the worse, but she says she made peace with the changes.
"The baby is here, so I will just continue raising him," she says.
Just over a year old now, Lesabeer's son only struggles with flu but is generally a happy child. - mamodimam@sowetan.co.za
Pregnancy - a time of happiness, anxiety
BEING pregnant is one of the happiest times in a woman's life but sometimes it can also be a phase of anxiety and uneasiness.
Pontsho Nooe, 20, of Westonaria on the West Rand, completed high school in 2009.
Two years later, at 19, she became pregnant. Due to give birth next month, she still has fears and admits she is not ready.
"I am terrified," she says. "I even have nightmares about giving birth. I am not really prepared and my main concern is giving myself wholeheartedly to another person."
She also feels as if she has sacrificed a lot. Initially she wanted to further her studies. She wanted to study medicine, which takes seven years to complete, but has now settled for bio-medical technology, that will only take four years.
"I had to change my career path. The sooner I finish studying, the sooner I can get a job to support my child," she says.
Like any young woman in the prime of life, changes to her body have affected her self-esteem.
"The stretchmarks, weight gain ... I cannot handle it. The first couple of months I tried so hard to hide the belly, I even stopped going out. I felt unattractive, had the worst mood swings and weird cravings."
The worst thing was she would not take responsibility for the pregnancy and blamed her 25-year-old boyfriend instead.
"When I found out I was pregnant both my boyfriend and I were shocked and scared. I could not tell my parents," Nooe says.
"At some point I thought about abortion. The first few months were not a happy time."
With the embarrassment of being "Miss Popular" in high school and then falling pregnant at that age, added to the fact of a young couple getting odd looks when out in public and having to adjust to the changes, Nooe was assured by her supportive partner that she and the baby would be fine.
Lauren Sithebe, 32, of Vosloorus, Ekurhuleni, is a human resources specialist at the department of education.
She is now five and a half months pregnant with her first child. She is dumbfounded because she does not know much about being pregnant.
"I feel so dumb," she says jokingly. "I do not know a lot about pregnancy, so I read a lot of books for reference."
Though unplanned, when Sithebe discovered she was pregnant she had mixed feelings, with her "single" status being her biggest concern.
"I was happy, shocked and worried all at the same time, but I am more afraid of being a single parent," she says.
She is in a relationship with the father of the baby but points out that what happens in the future remains a mystery.
"Yes, I do have a boyfriend, but relationships sometimes fail. Anything can happen," she points out.
Like any parent, all she wants is a healthy baby.
"When you're pregnant you do not know what kind of baby you're carrying. Sometimes when it does not move I think something is wrong. The smallest thing makes you worry," Sithebe says.
The big-bodied Sithebe says she has not experienced the many changes pregnant women tend to complain about.
"I am a big person naturally but my belly is not so big. Only my breasts went a size up. I did not even get the common sickness that other women get," Sithebe says.
The scariest thing that happened to her was a mysterious bleeding when she was three months into her pregnancy. Luckily it turned out to be nothing serious.
Despite all the emotions and changes, Sithebe says carrying a little person inside her is a wonderful feeling and she cannot wait to give birth.
"I look forward to holding my baby in my arms," she says.
For Florence Lesabeer, 42, of Diepkloof in Soweto, pregnancy was heartbreaking and left her vulnerable. She gave birth to her son in June last year. She has two other children aged 20 and nine.
"When I discovered I was pregnant I was heartbroken. I am a grown woman now. I did not know what to do in that situation. I get by on odd jobs. It is all I can do to raise my kids," says the single parent.
Lesabeer also mentions that her 20-year-old son is astonished but most supportive, while her nine-year-old daughter is happy to have a younger sibling.
After skipping her contraceptives on three occasions, Lesabeer says the unplanned pregnancy led to tons of physical pain.
"I had many complications. Swollen aching feet, bleeding silver stripes, sleepless nights, aching and sometimes numb hands, headaches and blood pressure three times higher than usual are all things I went through.
"The doctor told me every ache I experienced was as a result of my age. He said I would be fine after giving birth," she says.
Lesabeer says the worst thing during her pregnancy was her constant fear.
"I was always afraid. I used to rush to the clinic at the slightest ache. It was always blamed on my age," Lesabeer says.
Her body and health changed for the worse, but she says she made peace with the changes.
"The baby is here, so I will just continue raising him," she says.
Just over a year old now, Lesabeer's son only struggles with flu but is generally a happy child. - mamodimam@sowetan.co.za
This article was first published in the printed newspaper and eEdition on 19 September 2012. Click on this link to view the eEdition
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