In dog box as I drank too much to fight shyness

I AM a 20-year-old man and in love with a 19-year-old woman.

The problem is that I am extremely shy around people. I become scared and just freeze up.

I have had this problem since I was small and now it is seriously stressing me.

I am suffering from headaches, pains in my muscles and I sweat a lot.

I went to a party recently and the girl I am in love with was there. To help me have the courage to approach her, I started drinking and I made such a fool of myself.

I am sure she will never give me another chance.

I am becoming so desperate and need to know what I can do to control my problem. - Too Timid, Turffontein

DUDU OFFERS THIS ADVICE:

I am sorry to hear that you are suffering so much.

The first thing you need to do is to go to a doctor. In order to receive the help you need you must be very honest about your problem.

Just remember that you are not the only person who suffers from anxiety and being shy.

It is possible to treat these conditions and they can be controlled. Ask the doctor to refer you to a therapist, who will teach you methods of relaxation and show you ways to solve your problems in a positive way.

There is also medication to treat anxiety. Alcohol is not the solution, as you have experienced. It might relax you for a short period, but after the effect has worn off, your problems are still there. Depending on alcohol for courage will destroy your life.

When you start to receive treatment, you will start feeling better and more confident about yourself. You might then be able to approach the girl you love and explain to her that you made a mistake at the party and this will not happen again. Ask her to give you a chance. If she is not interested in you, then at least you know you tried and will then have the opportunity to meet new women.