DEAR Dr Malinga

Shwa doesn't know whether to laugh or cry when it comes to you.

There was a time when she thought laughing with you made your adolescent performances less embarrassing for all. But after last weekend's performance at Peter Mokaba Stadium in Limpopo, yours truly has had enough.

Dr Malinga, here's the bitter truth: you are a middle-aged man who acts likes a 16-year-old cheerleader, a one-trick pony who has kicked himself into a corner of redundancy. If you are someone's father and husband, I feel sorry for them.

What man wears turquoise underwear with pink shorts? That's disturbing on so many levels. Given that your big trick is to kick your leg up like some drunken teen in a shebeen, why were you wearing tight shorts that had to split and leave us with such an image?

You need to find a new trick, a new song, a new career. You were amusing for 15 seconds. Now you're awkward. Time to move on, doll!

Just call this tough love and thank me later.

XOXO,

Shwashwi