GULUVA has been following the "darkie" debate with keen interest from the day Higher Education Minister Blade Nzimande ruthlessly laid into Godzille Connection spokesperson Lindiwe Mazibuko during a parliamentary debate on the state of education in Mzansi.
The Razor Man sent the usually fiery and unrepentant Mazibuko - who had earlier objected to the use of the word - cowering into a corner when he sharply blamed her apparent lack of understanding of the term "darkie" on her not having grown up in a township.
Nzimande effectively stopped short of calling the by now visibly traumatised and shaken Mazibuko a coconut.
Analysts, representatives of political parties and members of the public came down on the Razor Man like a ton of bricks, with political commentator Eusebius McKaiser leading the charge and saying the communist-in-chief had used the word "darkie" to "delegitimise those who criticised the government".
Others came out in his defence, with Young Communist League spokesperson Gugu Ndima stating that the SA Communist Party boss was "simply illustrating the negative perceptions still highly entrenched in white communities about blacks and their alleged failure to administer government".
Guluva does not understand what the fuss is all about.
He would, however, like to assure those who think the word "darkie" is associated with everything that is black and negative - such as blackmail, black magic, Black Maria (a police mortuary van), black mark, blacklist, black market, black eye, black widow, black sheep, blackout, black money, black hole and black spot - that there is nothing to fear.
The word definitely does not mean swart gevaar. You just have to look at Dangerous Darkies, a football club that once campaigned at the highest level of football. The club was so tame, weak and meek that it disappeared from the elite football space no sooner than it had entered it, the same way that another curiously named soccer ensemble, Eleven Men In Flight, flew into oblivion.
But Guluva believes that any debate on the word "darkie" will not be complete without the input of Darkie Afrika, a struggle comrade who once served as an MEC in North West in the mid-1990s.
The only problem, though, is that no one seems to know where Darkie Afrika is these days. Could it perhaps be that he is too dark to see?
No milk and honey
An office worker who has lived in a section of Hammanskraal for the past 10 years has appealed to Guluva to convey her long-standing service delivery gripe to the Machine Gun Man, the man who does not only run the Mzansi show, but also earns a living by selling passports to heaven.
"All I want to know is: will our area get electricity in 2011?"
Interestingly, the name of her section is Kanana, or Canaan, that promised land of milk and honey. Why there's still no milk and honey, running water and electricity in Canaan after all these years is open to speculation.
It's either that members of the community have still not bothered to buy the green, black or gold Ain't Seen Nothing Yet passports to heaven or their area falls under an Inkatha Freedom Party-controlled council.
In KwaZulu-Natal, IFP-controlled councils are alleged to have taken a decision not to provide electricity in areas where members of the hated Ain't Seen Nothing Yet live so that they don't see the light.
- E-mail Guluva on:thatha.guluva@gmail.com.
Darkie's too dark to see
GULUVA has been following the "darkie" debate with keen interest from the day Higher Education Minister Blade Nzimande ruthlessly laid into Godzille Connection spokesperson Lindiwe Mazibuko during a parliamentary debate on the state of education in Mzansi.
The Razor Man sent the usually fiery and unrepentant Mazibuko - who had earlier objected to the use of the word - cowering into a corner when he sharply blamed her apparent lack of understanding of the term "darkie" on her not having grown up in a township.
Nzimande effectively stopped short of calling the by now visibly traumatised and shaken Mazibuko a coconut.
Analysts, representatives of political parties and members of the public came down on the Razor Man like a ton of bricks, with political commentator Eusebius McKaiser leading the charge and saying the communist-in-chief had used the word "darkie" to "delegitimise those who criticised the government".
Others came out in his defence, with Young Communist League spokesperson Gugu Ndima stating that the SA Communist Party boss was "simply illustrating the negative perceptions still highly entrenched in white communities about blacks and their alleged failure to administer government".
Guluva does not understand what the fuss is all about.
He would, however, like to assure those who think the word "darkie" is associated with everything that is black and negative - such as blackmail, black magic, Black Maria (a police mortuary van), black mark, blacklist, black market, black eye, black widow, black sheep, blackout, black money, black hole and black spot - that there is nothing to fear.
The word definitely does not mean swart gevaar. You just have to look at Dangerous Darkies, a football club that once campaigned at the highest level of football. The club was so tame, weak and meek that it disappeared from the elite football space no sooner than it had entered it, the same way that another curiously named soccer ensemble, Eleven Men In Flight, flew into oblivion.
But Guluva believes that any debate on the word "darkie" will not be complete without the input of Darkie Afrika, a struggle comrade who once served as an MEC in North West in the mid-1990s.
The only problem, though, is that no one seems to know where Darkie Afrika is these days. Could it perhaps be that he is too dark to see?
No milk and honey
An office worker who has lived in a section of Hammanskraal for the past 10 years has appealed to Guluva to convey her long-standing service delivery gripe to the Machine Gun Man, the man who does not only run the Mzansi show, but also earns a living by selling passports to heaven.
"All I want to know is: will our area get electricity in 2011?"
Interestingly, the name of her section is Kanana, or Canaan, that promised land of milk and honey. Why there's still no milk and honey, running water and electricity in Canaan after all these years is open to speculation.
It's either that members of the community have still not bothered to buy the green, black or gold Ain't Seen Nothing Yet passports to heaven or their area falls under an Inkatha Freedom Party-controlled council.
In KwaZulu-Natal, IFP-controlled councils are alleged to have taken a decision not to provide electricity in areas where members of the hated Ain't Seen Nothing Yet live so that they don't see the light.
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