The booze cruise
HALLELUJAH! Life is back to normal.
Shwashwi donned her glad rags to attend her first Jozi party of 2014, the MetroFM Music Awards nominees announcement party at the Turbine Hall in Newtown.
As if to prove just how poor Mzansi celebs are, they packed the place to the rafters and scoffed down the good food and drinks provided.
On behalf of the starving artists, Shwa would like to say: "Thank you, MetroFM."
You should have seen veteran rapper and producer Amunishin and his crew hogging the bar and confusing the bartender with complicated free booze orders. Talk about being thirsty!
The bromance between Da Les and AKA is still going strong. They were joined at the hip, as always. Da Les kept calling out at the bartender as if he's a man who's got major problems. What boo? No goose in the boot no more? Shame, sweetie.
Anyhoo, Shwa has warned celebs about keeping their dress sense in check for 2014. But this seems to have fallen on deaf ears.
Presenter Pearl Modiadie looked hideous in a peplum black and white sequinned bodice, white denim shorts and black stockings. Baby girl has a limited understanding of the monochrome trend.
Bonang looked stunning. the bod on that woman. YOH!
Nothende looked untidy in a green jumpsuit. But what's new? Shwa loves the confidence, but not being able to see cellulite bumps through your clothes. Here's a tip, honey: body-shaping underwear. They sell it in Chinatown. You're welcome.
Now that he's officially a social butterfly, there won't be an opening of an envelope in Jozi without the overzealous TV presenter Bujy Bikwa.
As usual, he and his boobs were sweating buckets. Shwa worries that one day you might have a a stroke on the dance floor if you don't join Kabelo's Boot Camp.
Think about it.
Spotted Dineo Ranaka looking fabulous in denim and red hair. Shwa's completely envious of your great body, even after two kids.
The January hunger also brought out old faces - designer Ephraim Molingoana looked like he did in 1999, Nothemba Madumo looked like an out-of-place antique and Mdu Masilela performed his bygone kwaito hits.
Now, all roads lead to Durban for the awards. See you there, darlings!