Selfish husband uses me like his doormat

We have been married for eight years and we met 11 years ago.

We have been married for eight years and we met 11 years ago.

My husband is so irresponsible. We have three children, but he does not give me a cent. He won't buy or contribute to food, but demands hot meals morning and night. He is content to work, eat, sleep and watch sport on TV.

Three years ago his brother died and last year his sister-in-law died. Their two children are now living with us. I care for them because I feel sorry for them.

I love him, but I am tired of his selfishness. I want to leave. I have had enough. He gets paid on Thursday but by Sunday he has spent it all on booze and his other "pleasures".

Do you think he will ever change? He is 41 years old.

Exhausted, Johannesburg

Sister, it is unlikely that at his age he will change. Why should he? Being a selfish pig has worked for him for years.

Leaving him is probably the best thing. At least it is one less mouth to feed. He will change if he finds that you really do have meaning in his life, and will beg you to forgive him. But don't take him back without setting boundaries and making it clear that you will give him the boot if he returns to his old ways.

My worry is the children you are caring for. Will they be able to live with you? You can't abandon them to him.