MY HUSBAND and I have been married for a year. We had a wonderful wedding and for the first few months everything went well. We spent all our time together.
Since then he often comes home late from work and sometimes meets friends for drinks.
He also goes to the gym regularly, which leaves very little time for me.
We have a wide circle of friends and when we are all together he leaves me on my own and speaks to his friends for hours.
I tried to speak to him about it once and he got very angry with me.
He said he could not be with me 24/7 because it would drive me mad.
Does this mean that he no longer loves me as much as he did? I don't know what more I can do for him.
Please help me. Lonely, Diepkloof
Dudu says:
I am sure that all you need to do for your husband is to give him some space. You cannot expect your lives to revolve around each other exclusively. For a relationship to be successful, both partners need to have interests and friends apart from each other.
But in a social situation, if you are uncomfortable sitting on your own, try to interact with the other women in your group. Explain to your husband that you would appreciate it if he just stopped by and spoke to you every so often.
Tell him you would appreciate it if he would just let you know when he is going to be late.
He needs to be made aware that this makes you feel neglected and gives you a feeling of not being respected. To make your marriage work, you need to start concentrating on yourself.
Jealousy is a dangerous, destructive emotion, which creates anger, fear and hatred. It is one of the biggest factors in the break-up of relationships and is based on insecurity. You are probably imagining all sorts of things that your husband is doing that have no foundation.
The only way you can overcome this is to talk to him and tell him what you need. You need to look after yourself, build up your self-esteem and confidence. Try to have a life apart from your husband. See your own friends regularly and take part in some of your own interests.
Look at yourself in a more positive light. This will take patience and hard work on your part, but it will be worth it in the end.
My husband spends very little time with me
MY HUSBAND and I have been married for a year. We had a wonderful wedding and for the first few months everything went well. We spent all our time together.
Since then he often comes home late from work and sometimes meets friends for drinks.
He also goes to the gym regularly, which leaves very little time for me.
We have a wide circle of friends and when we are all together he leaves me on my own and speaks to his friends for hours.
I tried to speak to him about it once and he got very angry with me.
He said he could not be with me 24/7 because it would drive me mad.
Does this mean that he no longer loves me as much as he did? I don't know what more I can do for him.
Please help me. Lonely, Diepkloof
Dudu says:
I am sure that all you need to do for your husband is to give him some space. You cannot expect your lives to revolve around each other exclusively. For a relationship to be successful, both partners need to have interests and friends apart from each other.
But in a social situation, if you are uncomfortable sitting on your own, try to interact with the other women in your group. Explain to your husband that you would appreciate it if he just stopped by and spoke to you every so often.
Tell him you would appreciate it if he would just let you know when he is going to be late.
He needs to be made aware that this makes you feel neglected and gives you a feeling of not being respected. To make your marriage work, you need to start concentrating on yourself.
Jealousy is a dangerous, destructive emotion, which creates anger, fear and hatred. It is one of the biggest factors in the break-up of relationships and is based on insecurity. You are probably imagining all sorts of things that your husband is doing that have no foundation.
The only way you can overcome this is to talk to him and tell him what you need. You need to look after yourself, build up your self-esteem and confidence. Try to have a life apart from your husband. See your own friends regularly and take part in some of your own interests.
Look at yourself in a more positive light. This will take patience and hard work on your part, but it will be worth it in the end.
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