I hate our baby and feel I might do it some harm

I AM 20 years old and my girlfriend is 19. We have a six-months-old baby. After the baby was born, my girlfriend went back to school, but I didn't and tried to find work to help support the child.

Unfortunately, I only managed to get odd jobs, which has been so frustrating.

I hate the baby, who has ruined our lives. My girlfriend no longer has time for me and I feel that my life will never be the same or happy ever again.

I sometimes feel so angry about this baby that I feel that I could do it harm.

I honestly don't know why I have these feelings. All I want is my old life back. Frustrated and angry man

Dudu says:

It is really difficult to be so honest and I am sure this was a difficult letter for you to write.

Life has certainly not been easy for you this year and your frustrations are understandable.

Besides the frustration of not being able to find a job, you have the added responsibility of becoming a parent.

I am also a parent and sometimes have felt exhausted and overwhelmed by life's problems.

Having to cope with a child, when I am feeling like this, is difficult and might result in me behaving harshly towards my child. When I feel like this, I put some distance between myself and my child until I have calmed down and I am thinking more clearly.

However, I am older than you and therefore it is easier for me to deal with problems.

I can understand that you probably feel jealous of the baby because it is taking up so much of your girlfriend's time and because she loves the baby dearly.

This does not mean that she loves you any less. You must understand that this is not a competition between you and the baby for her affections.

Babies take up a lot of their mothers' time, but this does start to settle down and become more manageable.

She is also trying to manage her school work. I have no doubt that she is finding this situation as difficult as you.

You are mature enough to recognise that you have a problem with the baby, but also mature enough to realise that this is your responsibility.

This child is a part of you, the result of the love you share with your girlfriend. The baby is totally dependent on you and your girlfriend for love, shelter and food.

It is important that you share the responsibility and play a part in the life of your child.

When you feel angry with the baby, walk away until you have calmed down. You must realise that if you harmed the baby in any way you would lose your girlfriend and destroy your life.

Seriously consider going back to school to finish your education because it will improve your employment prospects in the future.