STRETCHING it to celebrate Everton's rare 3 -1 win over Manchester United, our homeboy Steven Pienaar must suddenly have felt homesick.
Inebriated, he got behind the wheel of his car and screeched off. He must have thought the Bobbies who caught him a bunch of killjoys because, unlike back home, none of them applauded his recklessness.
That he was speeding and had wine in his belly infuriated the Brits. So he's now banned from driving for 12 months.
They did not care what he was celebrating. What mattered to the Merseyside police was that, celebrity or not, he registered 61 micrograms of alcohol per 100ml of his breath. The legal limit is 35 micrograms.
No one died.
Our celebrities should count their lucky stars they live in South Africa where drunk driving is not frowned on - as it should be.