Thu Oct 27 14:56:21 SAST 2016

groovy old guy

By Zenoyise Madikwa | Sep 21, 2009 | COMMENTS [ 0 ]

SOCIETY and the media have finally blessed the once-taboo pairing of sugar daddies and younger women.

These days it is fashionable to see the controversial union getting glamorised in the headlines of glossy magazines and gossip columns.

Just in our back yards we have watched in awe how celebs like Khanyisile Mbau and Zandi Nhlapo get down with the old and grey.

According to relationship expert Angelo Bright, while this relationship is generally thought of as more acceptable than an older woman dating a younger man, there are likely to be problems for the couple to deal with.

Some of these include communication barriers and health and age-related issues. But how do you overcome these? According to Lisa Jones, author of Broken: A Love Story, a younger woman needs to get the vibe of a groovy old guy.

Characteristics of a groovy old guy

l He's experienced but not fatherly. An older man has sampled enough of life to know how to navigate roadblocks. He has wisdom to share. He's a problem solver but does not try to solve his lover's troubles. He listens to her, supports her decisions and offers his solutions if - and only if - she asks for them.

l He's intelligent, yet hip.

He discusses the Caster Semenya fiasco and the social implications of rap music, not the differences between an apple and a radiator.

l He's successful but not flashy like Mandla Mthembu. He has something to show for his life - a career he's passionate about, a home and relationships. He's invested in the world, financially and figuratively. His success is sexy, subtle and speaks for itself.

l He's in shape and healthy.

He exercises, does not have a beer belly and eats healthily, but not just for vanity's sake. He cares about his health and future and has given up smoking and binge drinking.

l He is stylish but also age-appropriate. This man has developed a classic and unique style that reflects his age and status in life.

He knows the value of quality clothing. He knows how to spend money well. He would know how to select elegant lingerie for a present.

l He acknowledges his age but does not focus on it.

When he dates a younger woman, it's not because she's 22 and he's 42. He does not patronise her with endless conversations about their age difference.

l He makes a woman dream about taking him to bed.

An older man presumably has had enough sex to figure out exactly what women want in bed. He's polite and discreet. His intentions and ability to follow through on them are telegraphed through a knowing twinkle in his eye.

l He knows what he wants.

He's past the waffling, what-do-I-do? stage. When he wants a woman he tells her. And, not surprisingly, often gets her.

Tips on dating a younger woman

l Stay cool. As an older guy, many younger women like you for staying cool under pressure. But some older men totally get the heebie-jeebies when they hang out with a younger woman they're attracted to. This can kill any attraction she might have had for you.

l Treat her like a bratty little sister. Once you can stay cool, take it to the next level and make fun of her. Tease her. Act as though she was a bratty little sister. And when she pretends to get mad, keep it up. It's totally different from what wussies would do.

l Don't get her to lead. Women don't like having to lead the relationship around, and younger women are no exception. Remember that they're attracted to you because of the maturity and stability your age gives you.

l Don't take advantage of her. Most younger women have experienced some "dirty old man" try to pull something on her before, so don't do anything that makes her think you're a perv. Chill and give her room.

l Don't interfere with her life. Younger women are probably just breaking free from a strict household and doting father. Try not to bring old memories into her new life.

l Don't chase her. Younger women are like cats sometimes - when you chase them they run away, but when you just sit there they'll come to you. Younger women will come to you when you create an environment that's different from the one they left at home.

l Expect her to change. Remember that younger women change rapidly, especially during this time in their lives. If she changes, accept it. Don't try to force her to stay the same for your own sake.

l Be a gentleman. Few men these days have the first clue about being chivalrous, so it's a prized commodity among younger women.

If you are the type to pull out chairs, hold doors, and walk on the side of the curb closer to the road, you are way ahead of the competition.

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