What I didn't know until I had kids ...
l How many seconds it takes to microwave four fish fingers perfectly.
l Who John Jacob Jingle Heimershmitt is.
l How to change a nappy in the dark, in a parked car, on a standing child and all of the above simultaneously.
l Which lines of The Cat in the Hat and If I Ran the Circus can be skipped without a child noticing.
l How bright a 3am full moon is.
l The design marvels of hooded towels, Velcro-strap shoes and mitten clips.
l Locations of public rest rooms all across town.
l Why anyone would bother retracing their steps for miles just to retrieve a lost blanket.
l That tigers live in the trees in our backyard.
l The amazing technicolour variety of infant stool.
l How to open a van door while bobbling two lunch boxes, two extra coats, purse, nappy bag and a baby.
l The fine art of vacuuming a floor without hosing up a Barbie shoe or a Play mobile cannonball.
l That solid white socks get lost in the dryer at a much slower rate than do the mates of patterned socks that coordinate to special outfits.
l How little sleep a human body truly needs to function.
l Almost every Disney lyric ever penned.
l How to spell amoxicillin, let alone say it.
l That one can never own too many sippy cup lids or refrigerator magnets.
l Scientific names of dinosaurs from A to Z.
l That reverse psychology really works.
l The recipe for a home-made version of Play-doh.
l That Duplo and Lego blocks procreate in the night.
l The distinctive sounds of Cheerios crunching underfoot.
l Why they call them Happy meals.
l How far you can dilute juice and still retain it's taste.
l That man (or child anyway) really can live on peanut butter alone.
l That gender inequality starts early in clothing. Boy's underpants have a wide band on top, while the waistband and leg holes on girls' look the same, increasing the odds that she'll pull 'em on tangles or upside down.
l That the more my kids learn, the less I seem to know.
l And the one I wanted to add. How much you could love one human being! - Inspired Living