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Minister of Cooperative Governance and Traditional Affairs Des Van Rooyen. Picture Credit: Gallo Images
Van Rooyen suddenly withdraws his interdict

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Communication is the key issue

By unknown | Nov 27, 2006 | COMMENTS [ 0 ]

My wife and I have been together for 15 years, but have only been married for the last four years, and things have changed drastically.

I'm expected to wear a pleasant smile whenever her family visits, but I can't even get that when I arrive home.

Whenever I visit my parents I have to do it alone, but when she wants to go to her parents I must take her there and wait for her. She'll also make arrangements with her family without discussing anything with me first, but she has to be told in advance if there's anything I need to do with or without her .

For my trouble of buying her a card and chocolates on our recent wedding anniversary I hardly got a "thank you" or a hug or kiss .

I also do everything in the house, from bond payments to food, paying bills, buying clothing and everything else. I surely deserve better than this?

I find myself drifting apart from her and thinking about getting someone new in my life, but at the same time staying in this for the sake of our daughter.

The intimacy is no longer there and sex is nonexistent.

Do you have any advice?

Stuck, Soweto

Sit down with your wife and honestly express your anger, disappointment and resentment without being critical, negative or cruel.

You must discuss your feelings and tell her that you are drifting away because you feel she does not appreciate you.

There are issues about power within this relationship when one partner makes arrangements without informing or checking with the other.

Before this situation gets worse, speak to your wife about the problems you are experiencing. Seek help from a therapist or counsellor if you are not able to solve the problems without unbiased guidance.

Communication is vital in a loving relationship, and possibly you two have forgotten how to do this with one another.

You have been together so long it would be tragic to just give it all up without really working to make things better.


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