GULUVA has heard on the grapevine that one of Mzansi's biggest supported football clubs, Kaizer Chiefs, is using the soccer recess to explore ways of beefing up the squad, which has been performing well below par over the past couple of seasons.

The on-off, then imminent, then on-off departure of midfielder Siphiwe Tshabalala to English First Division club Crystal Palace, which is likely to be followed by that of injured ace goalkeeper Itumeleng Khune, has prompted executive chairman Kaizer Motaung to think long and hard about the club's short-term and long-term future.

Besides, the current crop of players has been a big embarrassment to the famous and rich Chiefs brand. Not only are they coached by a man who appears to be completely out of his depth, but they also spend the entire match making silly schoolboy mistakes. Strikers Lehlohonolo Majoro and Sthembiso Ngcobo miss sitters that even Guluva's 100-year-old grandmother - yes, she is as old as the Ain't Seen Nothing Yet - can tap in with her eyes closed.

The defence - which consists of Thomas Sweswe and Co - leaks like a sieve, while the comical Khune is not convincing between the goalposts.

So Guluva was not at all surprised when he heard that his namesake, Kaizer "Chincha Guluva" Motaung, was seriously considering recalling former stars Johannes "Ryder" Mofokeng, Lucas "Rhoo" Radebe and Jan "Malombo" Lechaba to strengthen the under-performing squad.

This would not be without a precedent. Sir Alex Ferguson recently recalled retired Paul Scholes to injury-hit Manchester United at the same time that Arsene Wenger sent an SOS to Arsenal's yesteryear's hero, Thierry Henry, to bolster the depleted London side.

As it turned out, both moves helped to produce instant positive results.

All Guluva can say to his namesake at Chiefs is: do what you have to do, bra.

Where's the integrity?

GULUVA does not know what to make of former Cope spokesman Phillip Dexter's return to the black, green and gold revolutionary party, which he used to diss whenever he found the opportunity.

Not so long ago, he said when commenting on the banning of the struggle song, Dubul' ibhunu: "The argument of the ruling party that this phrase is part of struggle heritage is revisionist. The vast majority of the songs of the struggle are hymns and songs of upliftment and solidarity, but such songs do not fit the populist agenda of the ANC in their quest to further divide the people of South Africa".

This is at odds with the stance of the party the Dexterous One has rejoined. He will soon find out that both the Inconvenient Youth and the revolutionary party have appealed against the Equality Court's ruling because they don't agree with his assertion.

Commenting after Public Protector Thuli Madonsela released a report implicating wrongdoing on the part of suspended police commissioner General Bheki Cele and former public works minister Gwen Mahlangu-Nkabinde in the police property lease debacle, Dexter said: "President Zuma must protect what little integrity his administration has left by firing these officials."

Now he is rejoining a party whose administration he said had little integrity left only six months ago. Maybe the real reason is still to be told.

• Email Guluva on thatha.guluva@gmail.com