AT THE touch of a single button staff at Mzansi's cellphone operators knew the exact number of subscribers who had registered their SIM cards under the Regulation of the Interception of Communication Act (Rica) the minute the Thursday midnight deadline for registration passed
Such is the efficiency of the sophisticated technology at their disposal that enables them to make decisions almost immediately. For example, Cell C knew the second the deadline passed that 0,01% of its contract subscribers had not registered their SIM cards - and promptly moved to have their services cut off.
How Guluva wishes the same efficiency could be available in government departments.
Asked to provide official statistics of the subscribers who had complied with the legislation by midnight on June 30, Busi Mlandu, a spokesman for the Department of Communications, was quick to respond: "No, no, no! It is still too early for official figures."
This was an unfair question to ask in the first place, considering how government works. Everybody knows that to fulfil its mandate the department first has to "put internal processes, systems and procedures in place" and then establish a ministerial task team to draw up "terms of reference in accordance with applicable legislation and relevant regulations".
The ministerial task team will, once it is finished with its work, submit the terms of reference to a steering committee for approval, after which a stakeholder sub-committee will be appointed to examine and ratify the figures and then submit a draft report back to the steering committee.
The steering committee will then make changes in alignment with "applicable legislation" before it can present the "final draft" to the minister for approval and sign-off.
By the time the official results are announced the cows will already have come home.
Mama's 100% love
IF you have not yet heard of Mama Patelo or "Dr" Akim, Guluva suggests you do something about it as a matter of extreme urgency, because these two might provide you with all the answers to the problems that have been nagging you all your life.
In fact, these two seem to have all the answers to the "challenges" afflicting our country.
Guluva got to know about them while scanning newspaper classifieds in search of bargains the other day.
Mama, who has absolutely no regard for punctuation and language rules, claims to have powers to: "Make your partner stop cheating you bring your lover back in a shortest time come out of prison and win court cases 100% delete credits, blacklisted and get loan easily. Trouble of financial and win casino 100% treatment for penis enlargement 100% stop your relationship from breaking apart."
If you think this is hogwash or balderdash, as Prince Mangosuthu Buthelezi would say, just wait to hear what "Dr" Akim has to offer.
"Dr" Akim, who announces he is "now in South Africa" - suggesting he operates internationally - guarantees his or clients a "win of Lotto or Power Ball".
The good ole "doctor" further startlingly claims to have "methodologies that have helped hundreds of thousands of individuals find greater order and happiness in their lives".
These individuals, he claims, include "Hollywood celebrities, Giant company CEO's and famous politicians ."
Guluva did not expect this when he went looking for bargains. But with the likes of Mama and "Dr" Akim in our midst, Mzansi would be a 100% amazing country.
You can't count on bureaucrats
AT THE touch of a single button staff at Mzansi's cellphone operators knew the exact number of subscribers who had registered their SIM cards under the Regulation of the Interception of Communication Act (Rica) the minute the Thursday midnight deadline for registration passed
Such is the efficiency of the sophisticated technology at their disposal that enables them to make decisions almost immediately. For example, Cell C knew the second the deadline passed that 0,01% of its contract subscribers had not registered their SIM cards - and promptly moved to have their services cut off.
How Guluva wishes the same efficiency could be available in government departments.
Asked to provide official statistics of the subscribers who had complied with the legislation by midnight on June 30, Busi Mlandu, a spokesman for the Department of Communications, was quick to respond: "No, no, no! It is still too early for official figures."
This was an unfair question to ask in the first place, considering how government works. Everybody knows that to fulfil its mandate the department first has to "put internal processes, systems and procedures in place" and then establish a ministerial task team to draw up "terms of reference in accordance with applicable legislation and relevant regulations".
The ministerial task team will, once it is finished with its work, submit the terms of reference to a steering committee for approval, after which a stakeholder sub-committee will be appointed to examine and ratify the figures and then submit a draft report back to the steering committee.
The steering committee will then make changes in alignment with "applicable legislation" before it can present the "final draft" to the minister for approval and sign-off.
By the time the official results are announced the cows will already have come home.
Mama's 100% love
IF you have not yet heard of Mama Patelo or "Dr" Akim, Guluva suggests you do something about it as a matter of extreme urgency, because these two might provide you with all the answers to the problems that have been nagging you all your life.
In fact, these two seem to have all the answers to the "challenges" afflicting our country.
Guluva got to know about them while scanning newspaper classifieds in search of bargains the other day.
Mama, who has absolutely no regard for punctuation and language rules, claims to have powers to: "Make your partner stop cheating you bring your lover back in a shortest time come out of prison and win court cases 100% delete credits, blacklisted and get loan easily. Trouble of financial and win casino 100% treatment for penis enlargement 100% stop your relationship from breaking apart."
If you think this is hogwash or balderdash, as Prince Mangosuthu Buthelezi would say, just wait to hear what "Dr" Akim has to offer.
"Dr" Akim, who announces he is "now in South Africa" - suggesting he operates internationally - guarantees his or clients a "win of Lotto or Power Ball".
The good ole "doctor" further startlingly claims to have "methodologies that have helped hundreds of thousands of individuals find greater order and happiness in their lives".
These individuals, he claims, include "Hollywood celebrities, Giant company CEO's and famous politicians ."
Guluva did not expect this when he went looking for bargains. But with the likes of Mama and "Dr" Akim in our midst, Mzansi would be a 100% amazing country.
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