If you are not a commentator, don't comment

AMERICAN writer Elbert Hubbard once said: "If you cannot answer a man's arguments then all is not lost, you can still call him vile names!"

I found myself reflecting on this quote twice yesterday.

The first time was when I read an article by the rector of the University of Free State Jonathan Jansen.

In his latest instalment he shares the story of how what started out as a robust Facebook dialogue with a student turned into a vitriolic diatribe.

In his discussion with the student the professor asked more probing questions in an effort to get more clarity from what he describes as "this bright young mind".

Alas, the "bright young mind" did not take kindly to being questioned, lost his temper and started to swear.

The professor says it is the student's inability to reason that led him to resort to anger and insults.

I could write a book about this subject of name calling and insults when individuals are not able to argue coherently and persuade others of their point of view - which by the way should not be the only reason we engage in robust discussions.

If you manage to persuade people to your point of view it is a bonus but the reason for exchanging ideas is to reflect the plurality of voices, stimulate our intellect and get insight into how other people see the world.

I reflected on this again yesterday when a concerned parent phoned me on radio to complain that children are getting an excessive amount of complex homework.

I had heard this so many times and have experienced it myself as a student, so I did not disagree with the caller. How could I disagree with someone else's experience?

The debate was sparked by the parent not wanting to find a solution by speaking to the teachers and the school.

Instead, he argued that the education department must solve the problem.

I could not understand why a parent, who feels his child is not coping with work, would just sit back and wait for the education department to solve the problem instead of speaking to other parents, finding out how their children were coping and finally seeking an audience with the teachers at the school.

One parent phoned to argue that parents are busy and do not have time to initiate meetings.

I was appalled at the complacency and the eagerness to pass the buck and not play an active role in the child's development.

My problem was, and still is, with parents who have to deal with the children's school but are not prepared to dedicate some time and effort to meet with the authorities. They prefer to phone and complain on the radio.

The expected then happened. I was reminded that I do not have children, so I must not speak on the issue.

No matter how many times I explained that I do not disagree with the parent but that my objection is to his unwillingness to take this further and find a solution to a problem that is affecting his child, I was called names that are not printable here.

A listener came to my rescue with a fantastic solution. He suggested that "unless you are a meteorologist, do not comment on the weather; unless you are an economist, do not comment on the economy."

I would like to add my suggestions and encourage you to imagine this kind of world: If you are not a politician, never ever comment about politics.

Let's not leave the metro cops, police, nurses and teachers out of this either. If this is not your job, then under no circumstance can you have an opinion about these disciplines.

Unless you are gay, stay out of any discussion on homosexuality.

If you are not a Bafana Bafana player or coach, keep your comments about the team to yourself.

Unless you've created a movie or written a book, do not talk about these subjects. Unless you are a criminal, keep mum about crime. If you are not a polygamist . you get my drift?

Lastly, unless you are a columnist, do not comment about this column. RIP reason and debate.