"We own what happens to us, so let us show others how we want to be treated by not allowing abuse"

THIS year's international priority areas for the global 16 Days of Activism Campaign are based on domestic violence and the role of small arms.

Domestic violence is a long-standing issue around which women's organisations have advocated and it continues to be a reality in every country of the world.

It is estimated that a majority of women worldwide experience violence by an intimate partner at some point in their lives.

This violence becomes even more dangerous when small arms are present. They can be used to threaten, injure and/or kill.

Not only do guns facilitate violence against women, they also perpetuate a violent form of masculinity. Regardless of the context (conflict or peace), the presence of guns invariably has the same effect: more guns mean more danger for women.

This year is the continuation to examine the trade in, and proliferation of, guns and the role they play in the perpetuation of violence against women generally and domestic violence in particular.

While considerable gains have been made in the forms of legal reforms and services, many women's organisations continue to work on this urgent issue.

Violence perpetrated by state actors: Governments and state actors use violence to achieve political goals, employing militaristic ideologies and the need for "state security" to pass off violence and intimidation as "security" measures.

Within militarism's culture of violence, individuals in positions of authority believe they can commit crimes with impunity. This is exemplified by high rates of sexual violence within the military, threats by police to women reporting cases of violence or assault. It is also evident in ongoing harassment and intimidation, forced "virginity tests" on female protesters by authorities and violence against women living and working around military bases.

Women's human rights defenders who work on issues related to economic, social and cultural rights as well as civil and political rights are also targeted.

This lack of state accountability and the failure to bring perpetrators to justice remains a critical challenge to ending militarism worldwide.

Sexual violence during and after conflict: Sexual violence in conflict and post-conflict contexts is used to reinforce gender and political hierarchies. It is also used as a tactic to drive fear and to humiliate and punish women, their families and communities.

Although not exclusive to women and girls, gender-based violence principally affects them across all cultures.

Men can be subjected to sex abuse too . The violation is not always sexual, but psychological, verbal and emotional too.

Do not wait for someone to treat you badly, repeatedly. If they get away with it once, then it sets the pattern for the future. We own what happens to us, so let us show others how we want to be treated by not allowing abuse.

Men and women of South Africa and the rest of the world must join forces to promote peace and coexistence in promoting and in seeking a quality of life so that we are all free and equal citizens of the world.

• Nyambi is an ANC MP and he writes in his personal capacity.